Peaceful Living Blog

Dear friends,

I greatly enjoyed my annual New Year’s Peace Meditation yesterday. It always brings together NVC enthusiasts from across the world and is one of my favorite traditions for welcoming the New Year! 

How was 2024 for you? For me, it was a bumpy ride. There were moments of joy spending time with our 3-year-old grandson, mine and Kim’s first international trip together (a bonafide vacation that was void of work), and precious time with family and friends. There was also heartbreak...

Dear friends,

#UnlockYourAuthenticVoice 

This has been on my mind lately. What does it mean to unlock my authentic voice? How do I talk about things that matter to me without creating emotional distance between myself and others? I’ve found this especially challenging after the US presidential election this month— half the voters are devastated by Donald Trump’s election, and the other half are elated. The extremes are vast. Sometimes imagining a coming-together feels hopeless. 

Dear friends, It’s quickly moving into Fall here in the northern part of the world. The leaves are turning, there’s a crispness to the air especially in the morning and evenings, and there’s a certain earthy scent that emanates from the park across the street from our house.

We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.

I’ve been part of a fitness group here in California for the past 1.5 years. It’s called Boot Camp, and I have no idea why! Anyway, most people in the class are 25-30 years younger than I am and have been part of this group for several years. I don’t lift weights as heavy as theirs and I can’t always keep up with them, but I had felt confident that I was holding my own (except when jogging, which is the one place where I consistently lag far behind them). I found a way to be okay with this, to enjoy working out with them, without thinking I should be as strong or skilled as they are.

Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.

First, on the personal side… I’ve already planted half of my vegetable garden and it was so completely enjoyable. Remember how challenging this was for me a couple of years ago? My inner jackal did have a few things to say this year, but not nearly as many as in past years. And, I gave her loads of empathy so we made it through. I am thrilled about this. I can’t wait to see my seedlings pop up! If it’s a successful garden, I’ll share pictures in a future letter.

Hi friends, My name is Itzel and I’m happy for this opportunity to share a bit about myself and how I came to teach NVC. I was an activist before I knew what the word meant. When I was a child, I often argued with the adults around me about what I thought was “right.” If I had a nickel for every time a grown-up said to me, “You should be a lawyer,” I probably would’ve collected enough money to pay for the law school education that I eventually got. I left my traditional legal career path after more than a decade to become a...

Greetings dear readers of the Growing Roots Newsletter! Mary Mackenzie invited me to be a guest writer for this issue to which I happily agreed. She also shared that her messages are typically more personal in nature, something I always appreciate in a newsletter. The challenge for me then is to...

It is the first day of 2024 and I am filled with gratitude and awe. Yesterday, I celebrated my 9th year of hosting my annual New Year’s Peace Meditation. We had over 800 people register from many, many different countries and the meditation was interpreted into 4 different languages. It was incredibly moving, connecting, and hopeful for me!

It is the first day of December and it seems to me as if 2023 went by with a flash. I have felt deep despair about the growing division between people and the devastating impact it has had on human beings, all life in fact, including our planet. And, I have also experienced many moments of joy and satisfaction this year.

Less than 2 weeks ago from the time I’m writing this letter, Hamas militants crossed from Gaza into Israel and killed more than 1,300 people, most of them civilians. Israel then retaliated and killed over 3,000 Gazans, most of them civilians. The death rate continues to increase every day.  

October always makes me think about Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication. He was born October 6, 1934. If he were still alive today (he died February 7, 2015), he would be 89 years old!

The season is changing. What have you done to nurture yourself these past several months? It has been summer in my part of the world and moving into fall. 

I ended last month’s Growing Roots letter with a question to you: “Do you remember that you are a gift?” I hope you had moments throughout July that reminded you of this! I am still thinking about it, actually.

I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I  made progress on planting my vegetable garden.

Last year, I planted my vegetable garden in February. It was an enormous amount of work to get it ready. This year, we decided to move the garden farther away from trees (to avoid the ongoing tree root issue and allow more sun). So, we created 4 new beds. Now, they are ready to be planted, and yet… forward momentum has stalled.

I am writing to you with CELEBRATION on my mind. The NVC Academy has launched its new and improved website!! If you have not checked it out yet, please do so now: https://nvcacademy.com.

Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.

It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia.