Search the NVC Library

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the receiver's goals, passions and dreams -- and expands their potential.

In this thought provoking talk, Kathleen Macferran explores the power of listening to open doors and potentially to transform people. This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.

Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility.

• Connect the dots between NVC basic practices and the deeper "why" behind them
• Discover how NVC can support us in bringing tenderness to all of humanity
• Learn how to tie the NVC approach to liberation and vision
• Explore the many ways the tools of NVC support the path of liberation!

• Uncover the expansive possibilities of Nonviolent Communication in growing compassion for a more empathic world
• Engage with 17 global trainers on 17+ unique topics
• Connect with an international audience from novices to experts
• Immerse yourself in a festival of learning, fun, and community

Along with it’s potential for helping others calm their emotions and feel deeply understood, the Nonviolent Communication process of empathetic listening can help someone increase their capacity for finding their own truth.

It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.

Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

In uncertain times, when facing important life decisions, it's common to get caught up in imagining various scenarios and potential outcomes. The desire to predict and control the future often gives a false sense of security. The key is to make decisions based on the information available now, minimizing the number of irreversible choices. This approach maintains focus on what is known and prevents getting lost in the unknown. Rigor is essential, especially when familiar pathways don't align with desired values. In times of high stakes and uncertainty, such as dealing with a health crisis, the challenge is to resist the urge to speculate on countless possibilities and instead concentrate on the facts at hand. Miki Kashtan shares how staying in the present and acting on what is currently known provided a practical and grounded approach which allowed her to stay present throughout her sister's, Inbal Kashtan, journey with cancer.

Aya Caspi delves into the impact of societal structures and parenting approaches on individuals, particularly the prevalence of extrinsic motivation rooted in fear of punishment, desire for rewards, and a sense of obligation. The emphasis is on how these dynamics contribute to collective trauma and affect brain development. Examples, such as Hitler's childhood and the adverse effects of the educational system, are used to illustrate the consequences of such practices. Aya advocates for systemic change in these structures and emphasizes the role of non-judgmental practices in potentially reducing adult depression. The discussion highlights the importance of empathy and challenges the traditional methods that may lead to emotional neglect and trauma, emphasizing the potential benefits of embracing non-judgmental approaches in parenting and societal frameworks.

In this snippet from Duke Duchscherer's course, Restorative Dialogues: Transforming Conflict, Building Community Resilience, he shares a structured approach for conflict resolution or communication facilitation. It involves a facilitator guiding a conversation between two parties in conflict. The process begins with one party expressing their perspective while the other listens actively. The facilitator then prompts the listener to paraphrase what they heard, ensuring mutual understanding. This cycle continues until both parties feel heard. Subsequently, the facilitator encourages them to discuss potential solutions collaboratively. Once both sides are satisfied, the session concludes, with participants potentially swapping roles for further practice. The aim is for everyone involved to gain experience in effective communication and conflict resolution.

• Explore the complexities of how we can care for all of life using NVC
• See the role that power plays in relation to observations, feelings, needs, and requests
• Learn how to support people from many backgrounds in being able to apply NVC 
• Discern how to engage with these vast topics as we learn and share NVC

• Share NVC in a way that keeps your group engaged 
• Walk away with practical facilitation tips and 5 session outlines
• Know how to respond to nay-sayers
• Learn how to promote your work

Shared story has been a way for groups to unite in opposition to a common enemy. But more divergent and virulent beliefs/stories swirl through the internet and social media, facilitating people to polarize against one another. So notice when you're caught in a polarizing story; try shifting focus to observing your mind; somatic presence; underlying commonality; consciousness as universal need, energy, and spaciousness; and the natural compassion and generosity that flow from this.