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Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

Certified CNVC trainer Roxy Manning, Phd, answers a question: how to create a safe space for a first time group working on power and privileges ?

To learn to identify and speak from your needs requires specific tasks and practices. Here's a list of 10 learning tasks and practices for you to choose from. Some of these ideas include using needs cards and lists, working backwards from strategies and ideal scenarios, reflecting on past experiences and relationships, and asking for/offering/exchanging empathy.

Empathy is a form of attunement. Empathy is giving your compassionate curiosity by guessing another’s feelings and needs. Consider how you live or relate to each of these 12 essential aspects of empathy. Some of them mention how we can offer empathy without abandoning ourselves, how empathy isn't always the best response, and how "Empathy can be offered when you disagree with another’s opinion, memory, or perspective."

Roxy Manning shares that facilitating equitable group dynamics involves tracking attention, needs, purpose alignment, resources, and impact. Identifying patterns in attention distribution, centered needs, and maintaining alignment with the purpose enhances inclusivity. Tracking internal and external resources, especially considering identity-related differences, prevents disparities. Recognizing who bears the impact, providing support, and addressing impactful issues contribute to fostering an equitable facilitation environment.

Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This exercise will guide you there.

Use this exercise to identify what state you're in at any moment, and as an exercise to grow capacity for self-awareness and self-compassion. Identify what happened, thoughts, sensations, feelings, longings, etc. Includes a table that outlines three states of being: Protective/Defensive, Vulnerability, Essence.

In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.

CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan talks about what she calls "witnessing humanity," touching on the gift of presence, empathy vs. identification and staying present in the face of intensity.

Roxy Manning discusses the distinction between group purpose and group agreements. Group purpose is identified as the reason for gathering, such as learning to facilitate groups with a focus on inclusion and contribution. Group agreements are the policies or intentions to support the purpose, like creating space for all voices or forming affinity groups to address identity-specific challenges. The emphasis is on how agreements facilitate the manifestation of the group's purpose.

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"