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  1. In uncertain times, when facing important life decisions, it's common to get caught up in imagining various scenarios and potential outcomes. The desire to predict and control the future often gives a false sense of security. The key is to make decisions based on the information available now, minimizing the number of irreversible choices. This approach maintains focus on what is known and prevents getting lost in the unknown. Rigor is essential, especially when familiar pathways don't align with desired values. In times of high stakes and uncertainty, such as dealing with a health crisis, the challenge is to resist the urge to speculate on countless possibilities and instead concentrate on the facts at hand. Miki Kashtan shares how staying in the present and acting on what is currently known provided a practical and grounded approach which allowed her to stay present throughout her sister's, Inbal Kashtan, journey with cancer.

  2. Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/2/2021

    Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".

  3. Self-Empathy Regulation Process

    Self-Empathy Regulation Process

    Eric Bowers

    Practice Exercises · 30 minutes · 8/10/2021

    Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.

  4. Commitment

    Commitment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/15/2021

    Do you ever give up on disagreements, temporarily or permanently? Do you ever disengage from conflict because you’re certain the situation can't be resolved? Sometimes this applies. And consider how you may be giving up too soon, which decreases the possibility for resolution. This speaks to your level of commitment. How committed are you to valuing another’s needs and to finding resolution?

  5. Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

    Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 2-3 minutes · 09/05/2025

    Our brains often quickly categorizes things as good, bad, right, or wrong and then determines who’s to blame or praise. Maybe this  supports the illusion of order and predictability, thus provides a false sense of safety and reassurance. But its less effective in truly meeting our needs. By practicing "Living in the Observation," we can focus on reality, avoid unhelpful rumination, and find peace and empowerment in everyday life.

  6. Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/12/2021

    Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

  7. Unexpected Sweetness

    Unexpected Sweetness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia.
  8. Do you ever think you have the perfect answer for someone who is struggling? Eric offers a tip on how to approach situations like this.

  9. Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/24/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy is about being present to a person’s feelings and needs. It is acknowledging another’s experience, not necessarily agreeing with it. If you have a different opinion than another, empathize with her first. Then, state your feelings and needs with regard to the situation.

  10. Courage

    Courage

    David Weinstock

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 2/8/2021

    In listening to what our emotions tell us, and embracing what we do not know, we begin the path of courage. Even though our culture tells us not to, revealing our imperfections is where we can deeply connect. Living our lives more courageously honest, can shift us towards inspiring one another. Read on for how some people experienced this in coming together to transform one woman's heroine addiction.

  11. Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/14/2023

    Trainer Tip: Punitive use of force stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they're bad, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways. One way to punish is to judge them. In contrast, protective use of force stems from a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

  12. The Relief of Authenticity

    The Relief of Authenticity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/6/2023

    Trainer Tip: Censoring oneself to maintain peace may seem easier, but it actually requires significant energy. You can free up that energy you use to deny and stuff down your feelings, needs, desires, truth, and figure out and adjust to what others want. Embracing authenticity and expressing true feelings and needs can lead to a liberating experience, unlocking joy, love, and endless possibilities.

  13. Move in to Conflict - Don't Back Up!

    Move in to Conflict - Don't Back Up!

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

  14. Bystander Intervention

    Bystander Intervention

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 6/16/2023

    Often, people don't help others when others are in danger, whether it is a parent who is abusing a child, a man who is battering his wife, someone sexually harassing another, a bully making fun of someone, or a person who is abusing a pet. However, intervening can save lives. And bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world.

  15. Growth Happens

    Growth Happens

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I  made progress on planting my vegetable garden.
  16. Demands vs Requests

    Demands vs Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/4/2020

    Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

  17. Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/21/2021

    Trainer Tip: Make a boring or "dead" conversation more interesting, meaningful and connecting. You can do this by connecting to the other person’s feelings, passions or desires. Read on for examples.

  18. Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

    Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 10/10/2023

    "Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.

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