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  1. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  2. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

  3. Parenting without Obedience

    Parenting without Obedience

    An Introduction to Intergenerational Collaboration
    (5 Session Course)

    Miki Kashtan, Arnina Kashtan, Lisa Rothman

    Multi-session Course · 8 - 9 Hours · 03/11/2024

    If you answer yes to at least one of the questions below, then this course may be key to building the relationship you want with your children:

    • Do you know in your bones that you want to build a relationship in which both your needs and those of your children are fully included?
    • Are you tired of seeing yourself time and again using methods to get your children to "cooperate" that you don't actually subscribe to?
    • Do you struggle to imagine how to find enough hours in the day to collaborate for real with your children?
    • Do you brace for any conversation with extended family and community who criticize you for being too soft with your children? 
    • Do you often feel all alone and wonder if you are actually on the right path?
  4. Transforming Painful Patterns

    Transforming Painful Patterns

    Arnina Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 7 pages · 7/29/2010

    Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

  5. Core Beliefs and Gratitude Exercise

    Core Beliefs and Gratitude Exercise

    Kathleen Macferran

    Practice Exercises · 2 pages · 3/29/2011

    Some of my core beliefs make experiencing gratitude difficult . For example, it’s difficult to celebrate others or myself when I think I have to prove my worth in order to be accepted. So much energy goes into proving myself, there’s little left for celebration.

  6. Resistance

    Resistance

    John Kinyon

    Articles · 6 - 9 minutes · 2/16/2023

    There are many polarizing issues we can resist and fight over. The word "resistance" can mean fighting against what we don’t agree with in counterproductive ways. It can also be the illusion and futility of mentally fighting against reality of 'what is'. But acceptance, non-resistance, of what is doesn’t mean powerless resignation. Another way to resist is to accept and love whole-heartedly, with empathy and care for the people doing the things we are resisting.

  7. Tips for the Road Series Tip 8

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 8

    Practice Self-Empathy with Your Whole Body

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/23/2017

    In our fast-paced, busy lives it is tempting to practice NVC mostly with the left hemisphere of the brain, thinking through the steps quickly without slowing down to connect more deeply with feelings and needs.  Don't miss an opportunity to integrate the hemispheres of the brain and the valuable information from the neural networks in the heart and gut.

  8. Anatomy of a Trigger

    Anatomy of a Trigger

    Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 12/18/2018

    When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

  9. Are You Living Your True Potential?

    Are You Living Your True Potential?

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 12/23/2018

    How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

  10. Keeping Ourselves Open

    Keeping Ourselves Open

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/3/2022

    Trainer Tip: One of the swiftest ways to close our hearts is having judgmental thinking or looking to get our way. How open are you when you're in this mode? The goal in peaceful living is to approach our relationships with an open heart. Start conversations today with an intention to connect with other people.

  11. Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

  12. Connecting with Someone Who Has Cancer

    Connecting with Someone Who Has Cancer

    Godfrey Spencer

    Trainer Tips · 6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: I feel overwhelmed thinking of writing to someone with cancer. What can I do?

  13. What do you do when you are thinking that it's not "emotionally safe" to speak honestly?  Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this topic with a workshop participant.

  14. For many people thinking about creating a workshop outline is overwhelming because they focus on the whole thing at once.  Breaking the process down to bite-size pieces eliminates much stress and overwhelm and brings fun and creativity to the process.  here's your step-by-step guide!.

  15. Money and the Web of Love

    Money and the Web of Love

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 14 minutes · 9/10/2023

    Our ability to reduce our reliance on money, or even exit the logic of money and exchange in our own thinking, is limited by the degree of trust we have that our needs will be met without it. The more we can enter into sufficient trust, the more we can enter into a web of sharing resources -- borne from a place of love. Read on for more.

  16. Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

    Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 8/12/2020

    When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.

  17. Grief and Mourning for the World

    Grief and Mourning for the World

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 1/21/2021

    As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give grief the space and support it needs.

  18. A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    Arnina Kashtan

    Video · 8 minutes · 09/05/2021

    In this brief introduction to The Work from Byron Katie, Arnina shows the connection of The Work to Nonviolent Communication. Arnina points out how the first two questions of The Work correspond to the observation step of the NVC process, and invites us into deeper self-inquiry.

  19. NVC Life Hacks 37

    NVC Life Hacks 37

    Connecting Your Feelings With Your Body

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 14 minutes · 04/08/2023

    We can get stuck in our heads. All kinds of thoughts float into our minds. We then get thoughts about those thoughts, they might even make you feel a certain way or change a behaviour. But what happens when we connect our feelings with the physical sensations in our bodies? As part of our teaching at NVC we have incorporated movement work to help us connect with where we hold emotions and how we can process them effectively.

  20. Integrating Inner And Outer

    Integrating Inner And Outer

    Robert Gonzales

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/24/2022

    This exercise brings forth presence, awareness, and witnessing regarding what you observe. And also the inner form of experiencing: thinking, feeling, sensing, longing, and noticing any inner resistance. This exercise is designed to allow self-compassion to clear the inner space, and to help you feel it as a flow of energy, presence to the other, and bring in a more relaxed experience and more availability to vulnerability.

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