
Search Results: requests
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- Celebrate and nurture your relationship to the Earth — and each other!
- Explore your connections to family, partner, work, nature, self and more
- Discover new ways to grow in community and work together to make this world a better place
- Engage and immerse yourself in NVC while making new friends!
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A chosen, interdependent world… In most cases, that's sure not the world we live in today, is it. But it could be the world we live in tomorrow. And you can choose to be part of bringing that better world to life – to be part of a gradual, joyful transformation – simply by using the dynamic, living power of Dialogue.
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- Access, follow and train your intuition: how to know without knowing;
- Navigate difficult situations with care for all through an active awareness of your own power, as well as other sources of power in the room;
- Remain aware of who speaks and who doesn’t, of those whose pain is invisible – and what you can do about it;
- Walk towards someone presenting a challenge to a group you are facilitating, while continuing to hold care for the entire group, and more.
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- Unpack interpersonal, internalized, and institutional racism from the lens of NVC consciousness
- Hear and share personal stories and the impacts of racism, power, and privilege
- Learn how to translate “hard to hear" messages into meaningful conversations
- Expand and deepen the conversation of systemic and interpersonal racism
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- Discover what triggers shame in you, and how to transform it
- Learn to navigate a shame attack and make good use of it
- Expand your capacity for recognizing when others are experiencing shame
- Connect with others who get trapped in shame avoidance patterns
- Allow your vulnerability to bloom by disentangling shame from fear
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- Learn your body’s “language” and how to listen deeply to it
- Expand your NVC toolbox with emergency self-empathy tips
- Explore drawing on your senses to get past what is blocking you
- Discover and practice that “missing step” in the NVC process
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- Learn how to use empathy to dissolve conflict
- Deepen your NVC skills to help let go of judgments
- Explore approaches for asking for what you want
- Listen to the conflict within yourself
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Empathy is a form of attunement. Empathy is giving your compassionate curiosity by guessing another’s feelings and needs. Consider how you live or relate to each of these 12 essential aspects of empathy. Some of them mention how we can offer empathy without abandoning ourselves, how empathy isn't always the best response, and how "Empathy can be offered when you disagree with another’s opinion, memory, or perspective."
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When a person of color (A.K.A. a person from the Global Majority, or GM) tells a marginalization story that triggers a defensive response from a white participant in a group, to foster awareness and healing, leaders can address the white person's distress with empathy, highlighting the common dynamic of prioritizing white pain. From there, leaders can offer GM participants opportunity to share their experience and make requests of the group.
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What does nonviolence have to do with group facilitation?
Miki Kashtan believes that nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients us in all our thoughts, words and deeds toward the integration of truth, love and courage. All nonviolent individual and collective actions are aimed at preserving what serves life and challenging what does not. Facilitation is one clear path for bringing nonviolence to the world!
How can we act now, as facilitators, as if the world of our dreams, the Beloved Community, is already in place?
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- Increase your sense of connection and compassion, even in the heat of conflict
- Deepen your access to needs consciousness and the powerful energy of gratitude
- Learn how to make powerful requests that support the flow of connection
- Expand your self-empathy skills to help you shift away from reactivity
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Ask the Trainer: “I heard a trainer say once that the ‘to be’ verbs aren’t really needs, such as to be heard, to be understood or to be valued. Can you help me understand why not?”
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What do you experience when you give up on needs that are important to you, and are coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do? And why is it hard to make requests? Listen in and learn more.
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How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...
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This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).
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Is there someone you wish was more willing? Try guessing what obstacles they might be struggling with. And allow yourself to feel your grief. As you grapple with your own desire for someone to find their willingness, its essential to recognize that this is about you and your needs. You can also express your needs honestly, make requests for how to collaborate, and be responsive to what they want. Read on for more on this, plus four common ways someone’s willingness might be blocked.
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When we're judging we're less able to access both what we care about and constructive next actions. Instead, create more internal space and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects make requests or take aligned action that works for all.
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Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.
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When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.
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Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution of a partnership or friendship.