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  1. Different Types of Requests

    Different Types of Requests

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

  2. About Self-Requests

    About Self-Requests

    Yoram Mosenzon

    Video · 4 minutes · 10/13/2023

    Listen to Yoram Mosenzan discuss requests. He asserts that we can make requests of others and that we are making requests of ourselves throughout the day. The thing that has the biggest impact is how I make requests of myself.

  3. Practices For Requesting

    Practices For Requesting

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/15/2022

    Practice making requests for feedback, clarity, and action. Opportunities for making requests might be when you expected something different from what you got, were treated undesirably, and noticed inner constriction or reactivity. Identify observations, feelings, and values to support finding the request. Ensure your request states what you want, is specific, names the present-tense action, and that you're open to feedback.

  4. Creating the Life You Want With Powerful Requests

    Creating the Life You Want With Powerful Requests

    (5 Session Course)

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 5 hours, 11 minutes · 8/7/2017

    In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.

  5. The Importance of Making Requests

    The Importance of Making Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/8/2022

    Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

  6.  Connection requests focus on the quality of connection between people instead of on any particular strategy or solution. While the core motivation for a connection request may be connection with the other person, varied internal states and needs may help guide us toward different types of connection requests. Self-connection and understanding of our motivation in making a connection request can therefore greatly support our capacity for discovering and articulating what specifically we want from the other person that we believe may contribute to connection.

  7. Making Empowering Requests (Not Demands)

    Making Empowering Requests (Not Demands)

    Katrina Vaillancourt

    NVC Library · 1-2 minutes · 6/28/2024

    Use this worksheet to check to see if you’re making a request, rather than a demand. Clarify and connect your request to your needs. Check your motivations. Use a phrase, question, or empathy guess to connect to the person if they say “no”. See sample requests for actions, offers, and for deepening understanding.

  8. Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 10 minutes · 07/18/2021

    Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

  9. Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.

  10. Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2014

    Trainer Tip: Clarifying our requests can make the difference between frustration and satisfaction, Mary shows you how.

  11. Demands vs Requests

    Demands vs Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/4/2020

    Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

  12. The Timing of Making A Request

    The Timing of Making A Request

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/12/2021

    It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.

  13. Taking Responsibility For Our Requests

    Taking Responsibility For Our Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/7/2023

    Trainer Tip: It's important to design requests to fit specific needs. Otherwise people may do exactly what you ask and still, your needs may not get met. Before you make a request of someone, notice if the strategy you are considering is likely to meet your needs. If not, consider making a different request that may be more satisfying to you.

  14. Timing of a request

    Timing of a request

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/14/2021

    Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.

  15. Requests in a Moment of Reactivity

    Requests in a Moment of Reactivity

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 3/12/2020

    Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

  16. Making Requests to Enrich Our Lives

    Making Requests to Enrich Our Lives

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/17/2022

    Trainer Tip: When you make a request of someone, you don't diminish your relationship; you enhance it. If you receive a "no" to your request, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life. Look for opportunities to clarify your requests.

  17. Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.

  18. Making Requests Count

    Making Requests Count

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/16/2022

    Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of meeting your needs. Read on for an example.

    • Discover how to figure out what you really want, then how to ask for it
    • Learn how to make requests with ease and how to guess the requests of others
    • Practice strategies for turning ‘demand energy’ into ‘request energy’
    • Be able to stand firmly for your needs and assertively ask for what you want
  19. In this insightful snippet from Sarah Peyton, discover how connecting requests can transform conversations into meaningful exchanges. Referred to as the "steering wheel" of NVC dialogue, connecting requests shift the focus from action to connection, creating clarity and understanding.
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