
Search Results: reactivity
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Inspired by a talk given by Marshall Rosenberg, Jim offers an interactive exploration of powerful strategies for making NVC an integral part of your everyday life.
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Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another. Why? One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...
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Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.
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When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...
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Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...
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When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.
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Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.
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What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.
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Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.
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Self-compassion is essential for healing trauma and restoring your wholeness. It is also an antidote to reactivity and separation, allowing presence to emerge.
In developing presence, you can become what the world needs most in these times of intensity and chaos. This work can strengthen your skills to be more fully in relationship with all that life offers while allowing your heart to be moved by what is alive in you and with others
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Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.
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So many of us have a habitual response of trying to eliminate uncertainty and the arrival of what we don't want. Alternatively, we can embrace the irreducible uncertainty of life. This shift from resistance and helplessness to mourning allows acceptance of outcomes, reduction of stress, and opens the door to noticing and appreciating what's present and available amidst challenges.
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Join Jori and Jim Manske to explore, learn and practice the art of receiving the word "no," re-framing it from fear into fun.
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In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience. Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least. Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.
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If you're unpleasantly triggered during the holidays you may find yourself responding in ways you don't like. Start by acknowledging how affected you are to bring in more curiosity, mindfulness and eventually, authentic and discerning choices.
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Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.
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During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.
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When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.
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Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.
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Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change.