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Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our...
While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.
Living Compassion, for Robert, represents the spirituality that resides in every aspect of Nonviolent Communication. Its foundational principles are represented by three primary qualities or states of being: clarity, compassion and empowerment. In this course you’ll explore – and practice – how the unfolding of inner clarity opens your way to compassion, which further unfolds into empowerment....
It can seem like anger protects you. But it's your ability to name your needs, honor your range of feelings, and act on your needs that keeps you healthy and safe. When you remain present for an emotion and allow it to flow, it'll last just over a minute and dissolve, making room for the next layer of experience. Practice noticing any anger you have, without resistance. Set up self-empathy or...
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the...
Blame is a misguided habit that's used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our...
We all blow it sometimes. Maybe we are triggered and react in ways we regret. Or we unknowingly say or do something that unexpectedly touches a nerve for someone else. Either way, how do we heal the disconnection? In this session, you'll learn how to integrate skills for repairing relationships.
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
Part of making your relationship a priority while maintaining autonomy means you consider the impact your actions may have on your relationship and look to negotiate ways all needs can be honored. To do this while not losing yourself, practice writing down your needs and guessing their needs beforehand. Make an upfront request to create a shared understanding about what’s most important, before...
Practice Exercise
5 - 8 minutes
There are ways to reduce obstacles to setting boundaries. Notice unconscious ways you sacrifice yourself in order to avoid boundary setting. List of signs that a life-serving boundary is needed, but you're denying this. Realizing you consistently abandoned your needs may require time to process and mourn before you can set boundaries consistently. With practice, you can recognize boundaries...
An anchor is something you turn your attention toward in order to interrupt reactivity and access a non-reactive, expansive perspective. Though it doesn't make the reactivity go away, it allow you the internal space to choose to not behave from reactivity. In this practice exercise learn more about anchors, plus how to create and use them.
With these exercises you can practice identifying the reactions to conflict, such as fight, flight, freeze, the posture taken, what you see, hear, smell, touch taste and what needs are at play. They will also bring in curiosity about what next step may help. One of these exercises prompts you to journal some of these things this week.
With practice we can prevent reactivity from overtaking and harming: notice signs of reactivity, bring compassion to it, see reactivity as the misperception of threat and a distortion of what's happening, plus engage and pursue connection and the clarity to weaken reactive impulses. In taking responsibility like this overtime, you can live from your values and from care. And life can get easier...
Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they...
Setting boundaries takes being firmly grounded in self-respect and clear about what works for you. This means making conscious choices about how you relate to another or behave in a situation. Such clarity allows you to put your attention and energy where you want it to go. Thus we can have care and compassion without taking responsibility for others, nor feeling guilty when we say “no”. This...
John Kinyon leads participants through two Observation Exercises to strengthen their ability to be present. Through the exercises, John distinguishes the difference between feelings, which are emotions felt inside the body, and observations which are witness to our experience.
What are the qualities you value in your relationships? Mary teaches the NVC concept of needs to a group of people new to NVC, using a clever method she learned from Holly Eckert, a CNVC Certified Trainer in Seattle, Washington, USA.
Please join us as we remember the work and life of Inbal Kashtan. She offered this parenting Q&A session in NVC Academy's 2013 Parenting Conference.
In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, explores observation in contrast to interpretation, and leads an exercise in observation skills.
Join Susan Skye in this hour-long audio recording to learn how to experience the NVC consciousness as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs." This recording includes a supportive learning exercise and tips for expressing needs in a non-mechanical way. "Over the years, I have noticed that people -- including trainers and facilitators -- use the words of the NVC process...
In this inspiring video, Robert Gonzales, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, talks about his personal search to integrate spirituality into his daily life, and how Nonviolent Communication provided the missing link for this integration and has become the focus of his work.