Image

Search the NVC Library

Search Results: pain

Advanced Search
  1. Responding to a Painful Comment

    Responding to a Painful Comment

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 44 minutes · 07/25/2022

    How do you carry on a conversation when someone’s comment has had an impact on you? And what happens when two intentions clash because of different perspectives? Here’s Roxy’s powerful, common sense approach.

  2. Transforming Painful Patterns

    Transforming Painful Patterns

    Arnina Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 7 pages · 7/29/2010

    Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

    • Discover the healing magic that comes from welcoming pain rather than avoiding it
    • Learn how to navigate ‘healing dialogues’ when hurt or pain is present
    • Increase your empathy/honesty skills and your ability to navigate painful conversations
    • Embrace pain as a precious life-guiding force that teaches us how to be together!
  3. Ask the Trainer: An NVC Academy member from Bosnia asks: "Is the NVC process truly effective in places where so much violence has occurred and people's pain is very deep?"

  4. Healing Deep Inner Wounds

    Healing Deep Inner Wounds

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 3 - 4 minutes · 5/14/2023

    Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for more ideas for how to handle the pain.

  5. Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

    Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 5/29/2019

    In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.

  6. How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 7/29/2021

    Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.

  7. Experience John Kinyon's application of NVC Founder Marshall Rosenberg's 4-part model of reconciliation and healing, a model he developed over the course of decades of work with people around the world who have experienced the deep pain of violence.

  8. Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 3/6/2020

    The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

  9. Healing and Reconciliation

    Healing and Reconciliation

    (7 Session Course)

    Ike Lasater, John Kinyon

    Multi-session Course · 7 - 9 hours · 5/21/2019

    Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?

  10. The Power of Authenticity + Care

    The Power of Authenticity + Care

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 5/11/2019

    When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things? Self-empathy, empathy, and a commitment to authenticity have become essential tools I need to keep sharpened in my toolbox if I am to show up and do the work I value in this world.

  11. A New Monetary System

    A New Monetary System

    The NVC Pain Exchange (NVCPE)

    Jeff Brown

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 4/18/2023

    There's a danger in using empathy exchange to perpetually recirculate and exchange pain (often by telling and re-telling the same old stories), rather than using it as a catalyst for transformation. It can create and further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, and violence. It can also reinforce dualistic evaluations of "met" vs "unmet" needs. And it can slow down productivity.

  12. When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not finding it.

  13. Being Open to Feeling

    Being Open to Feeling

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/9/2014

    Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.

  14. The Cause of Our Feelings

    The Cause of Our Feelings

    John Kinyon, Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 3 - 5 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

NVCAcademy Logo

Subscription Preferences

Stay In Touch!

Looking for ways to keep up with NVC Academy news, get special offers, free resources, or words of inspiration? Here are five ways to stay engaged: