Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

In this audio recording, Sylvia Haskvitz, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, offers an in-depth discussion of the Nonviolent Communication process of empathy.

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

In this inspiring audio, Kelly Bryson, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer and author of many NVC books and articles, explores the importance of setting a clear intention and then clarifies the difference between pain and suffering.

In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

Ask the Trainer: "I just started teaching in a public school and I'm not enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. However, when I talk about NVC, most people listen but I feel they're either not understanding it or..."

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

I want to hear others through the lens of the meaning their actions have for them rather than through the effect their actions have on me. The very root of empathy resides in this fundamental shift. Whenever someone’s actions are at odds with our own needs, most of us, most of the time, do the latter. In that way, we keep our attention on ourselves rather than on the other person. We cannot be...

Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

Trainer Tip: The ways that we interact with our children shape the way they will interact in their world. How do your actions model compassion, tolerance, and love for your children?

Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

Trainer Tip: Q: How do we get the love we want? A: Ask for it.

It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.

Do you ever give up on disagreements, temporarily or permanently? Do you ever disengage from conflict because you’re certain the situation can't be resolved? Sometimes this applies. And consider how you may be giving up too soon, which decreases the possibility for resolution. This speaks to your level of commitment. How committed are you to valuing another’s needs and to finding resolution?

Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.

Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

Trainer Tip: Make a boring or "dead" conversation more interesting, meaningful and connecting. You can do this by connecting to the other person’s feelings, passions or desires. Read on for examples.