Search the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: When you suspect someone is lying, consider how it may be less important what the truth is. Instead, notice whether your need for trust is met. Without blame, nor labelling. you can make specific requests to meet your needs, while also respecting the other person’s needs. Read on for more.

We all love to contribute to others’ lives. We love to offer support because it meets our own needs for contribution, love, caring, and making a difference. For today, admit that you love to support other people, and that you would like support yourself. Let at least one person contribute to your life today. Read on for a related story.

Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

It's tempting to shut down a heated conversation when it’s painful and overwhelming. What can give us strength to stay open to hearing and being moved, to being open to new possibility, is recalling the “triad of conversation.” The triad is self and other and then awareness on the third side of the conversation. Here we can return to connection, to what we share and need in common, to a searching together for the way forward.

Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.

Hello friends. I’m Roxy Manning. When Mary invited me to write this letter, I could not help but reflect on what has been most alive for me recently… the way many of us will easily help someone else, but fear to ask for help for ourselves. On December 4, I had an operation. My doctor predicted my recovery would take three weeks. As I prepared for the time off, I rushed to complete all of my work and personal commitments. I prepped and froze dishes so I would have things to eat after and arranged meal deliveries. Very few people knew I was having an operation and I reached out to only one person for support after. In hindsight, I was doing everything I could so...

When avoidance coping or positive thinking sidesteps challenges, internal and external injustice and unrest also rises as we sidestep our values and integrity. It leaves us in sadness and distress. What's unacknowledged impacts ourselves and others undesirably. To live nonviolently we need to be in touch with what's real. With resonance we can more likely be with what's true, and trust our resilience and inner alignment.

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.

In this prerecorded telecourse, Miki Kashtan uses an interactive dialogue to address some of the most common questions among new NVC facilitators and trainers.

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

In this prerecorded telecourse, Kelly uses humor, stories and practical ideas to help spouses, lovers, friends and parents discover how freedom and autonomy are the basis for all healthy relationships.

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

In this vintage 1999 video, CNVC Certified Trainer, Wes Taylor leads a group of young people in a lively discussion on working with anger.

Listen to this newly remastered audio with seasoned Life Coach and CNVC Certified Trainers Martha Lasley and Dian Killian, to explore how you can "be the change" in your life, to live fully in integrity with your values in your work, community, faith and social action groups.

This telecourse recording gives NVC Practitioners a guided tour of Ken Wilber’s work, a meta-theory (theory of theories) that includes as much knowledge and wisdom from as many sources as possible. You will explore how NVC and Integral Framework mesh, overlap and complement each other.

Bask in this telecourse recording with Kathleen Macferran and explore ways to nurture and maintain greater depths of joy by focusing on gratitude.  The reward?  To increase your ability to live fully present to the joy in life, even in the midst of pain.

It is time to create true transparency, empathy and trust in your intimate relationships! In this inspiring telecourse recording, Kelly Bryson combines humor, music, group readings and experiential exercises to help you realize the fulfilling and intimate relationships you long for.

Trainer Tip: "Sometimes we are dissatisfied in our primary relationship, yet the thought of making a change is scary, so we stay in it. Sometimes we think we're afraid to learn the truth, so we don't ask direct questions."