Search the NVC Library

• Understand the destructive dynamics that keep love from blossoming
• Learn how to deal with expectations, disappointments, and judgment
• Transform guilt, shame, and obligations into a flow of creativity
• Find out what tiny details are preventing natural love to flow!v

Inspired by Marshall Rosenberg's teachings, Kathleen Macferran's self-empathy exercise offers a transformative approach for those challenging moments when you fall short of your own expectations.

How do we address historical and present challenges regarding the invisibility of privilege and power? What can we do, especially if we are people with privilege, to transform these conditions?  However challenging these kinds of situations are, and whatever our position, we can move towards more inclusivity by learning and doing significant inner and outer work.

While so many of us know how close we are to the edge of global catastrophe and want change, what makes the existing global system continue to function with our ongoing participation? Read on for more on the challenges and path towards learning to steward life and all the resources of this one planet for the benefit of all.

So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for our mutual benefit.

A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.

Borrowing teaching exercises from others can be fun and easy. However, when you develop your own, it deepens your learning and enables you develop your own teaching style.

Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.

Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."

In this audio recording, Sylvia Haskvitz, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, offers an in-depth discussion of the Nonviolent Communication process of empathy.

In this audio recording, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don't trust someone's "yes," how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say "no" to our requests.

Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.

Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.