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• Learn your body’s “language” and how to listen deeply to it
• Expand your NVC toolbox with emergency self-empathy tips
• Explore drawing on your senses to get past what is blocking you
• Discover and practice that “missing step” in the NVC process

When Dian works with managers, they often ask how they can manage others more effectively. She almost always asks them: how are you managing yourself?

This question applies to all aspects of life, both at work and at home. How are you: 1) gaining clarity around your needs; 2) managing your internal reactions; and 3) clarifying your requests before you open your mouth (or judge) others? This is why self-empathy – which Dian calls “self-management,” now a buzzword in business – is central to the practice of Nonviolent Communication.

Yet self-empathy is not always easy, especially if events in your life stimulate old, “fossilized” needs. These “fossilized” needs are often precognitive and connected to trauma, and as a result, “live” in your muscle memory. In order to fully release this “stuck” energy, it is necessary to engage your felt-sense while learning to empathize with your body and deeply connect with your younger parts.

Dian calls this process Somatic Self-Empathy (SEE).

Penny Wassman shares this first workshop exercise as an opportunity to build connection.

First, on the personal side… I’ve already planted half of my vegetable garden and it was so completely enjoyable. Remember how challenging this was for me a couple of years ago? My inner jackal did have a few things to say this year, but not nearly as many as in past years. And, I gave her loads of empathy so we made it through. I am thrilled about this. I can’t wait to see my seedlings pop up! If it’s a successful garden, I’ll share pictures in a future letter.

• Discover how mediation is a fundamental social skill that everyone can learn
• Gain the skills to stay centered when a conflict becomes heated
• Learn how to lead a dialogue toward sustainable agreements
• Help facilitate connection and creativity to discover and meet everyone’s needs

Wes Taylor links Ken Wilber’s stages of consciousness to the growth of Nonviolent Communication.

Communicating with a client or patient with a mental health diagnosis can be tough. This guidebook introduces Nonviolent Communication, helping you develop more clear, compassionate, mutual satisfaction and potentially create conditions that heal those who look to you for help. With this guide learn to notice when your approach is likely to trigger defense and how to shift that to more authenticity, understanding and trust.

Ask the Trainer: "Fairness" isn't on the needs list. What needs might be underneath it?

• Look at your old patterns with warmth – while also opening yourself up to change.
• Increase your self-compassion – and gain a solid ground to stand on.
• Become intimate with your own survival strategies – and those of the people you love.
• Support healing and connecting in your long-term relationships – even when it seems there is no resolution in sight!

Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.

Miki Kashtan explores how to respond to group conflict wisely when you’re not directly involved.

Exploring ways to stay compassionate and connected when someone seems angry or controlling.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.