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One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Trainer Tip: Every single time you say or do something, even when you experience pain or regret, you are trying to meet a need. Forgiveness begins when we acknowledge the needs we were trying to meet in the situation.

The focus on patriarchy emerges from the understanding that patriarchy plays a foundational role in everything. Yes, I mean it: everything. Patriarchy is not the same as sexism; patriarchy is to sexism very much what structural racism is to (interpersonal) racism: it's a system that runs independently of any one person's attitudes or behaviors. Join Miki for her first in a series of discussions on patriarchy.

Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

Trainer tip: Various life circumstances that can seem to be something that we don't want, and we may think of them as bad. And then later the situation may reveal that it's a circumstance that we do want, and we may think of it as good. Instead, of evaluating our day as good or bad we can acknowledge the feelings and needs that are present. Read on for a few anecdotes that illustrate this.

Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

• Start here to discover how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) will enrich and deepen all your relationships.
• You'll love this practical and enlightening approach to empathic listening and effective self-expression.
• Learn on your schedule with self-paced learning modules in this 30-day program. 

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.

This telecourse recording is for anyone wanting to integrate empathy into his/her life in a more natural, authentic way.

• Integrate the underlying principles of NVC into your daily life
• Create a daily practice of self empathy and connecting to needs
• Strengthen your own personalized set of NVC skills
• Increase your sense of power in the world
• Deepen connection with yourself and those in your life

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.

• Make use of felt-sense and somatic awareness to support faster and deeper shifts in yourself and others
• Master silent empathy to give more ease and flow in your empathy guessing
• "Streetify" your NVC practice by learning how to make your NVC practice more fluent, colloquial, and "natural" and match the person you're speaking with
• De-mystify empathy guessing by learning to identify key linguistic queues
• Build an "emergency empathy" tool kit---with "quick fixes" for challenging situations by using each step of the model for maximum effectiveness
• Interplay both the NVC "mindset" (consciousness/intention) and the NVC "tool kit" for greater ease, fluency and effectiveness

• Tune into your self-dialogue with a compassion that supports loving presence
• Shift limiting beliefs about your parenting patterns so you can choose consciously
• Transform frustration, confusion, or guilt into constructive, honest discussions
• Foster your ability to say yes and no in a way that supports your natural limits

• Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
• Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
• Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
• Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
• Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future

• Discover what triggers shame in you, and how to transform it
• Learn to navigate a shame attack and make good use of it
• Expand your capacity for recognizing when others are experiencing shame
• Connect with others who get trapped in shame avoidance patterns
• Allow your vulnerability to bloom by disentangling shame from fear

• Support a world where everyone is valued
• Create change in your community using nonviolence
• Communicate your strong beliefs with compassion
• Build a network, get support, practice your skills

We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.