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  1. Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/6/2024

    Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

  2. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/1/2024

    Trainer Tip: Research shows long-term change comes when people have intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while we're observed (eg. driving the speed limit when police are there). Notice where you're mostly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. How does this feel? For instance, do you call mom because you want to connect with her? Or because you’re worried she’ll be hurt if you don’t?

  3. Empathy is Magic

    Empathy is Magic

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    First, on the personal side… I’ve already planted half of my vegetable garden and it was so completely enjoyable. Remember how challenging this was for me a couple of years ago? My inner jackal did have a few things to say this year, but not nearly as many as in past years. And, I gave her loads of empathy so we made it through. I am thrilled about this. I can’t wait to see my seedlings pop up! If it’s a successful garden, I’ll share pictures in a future letter.

  4. Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.

  5. Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 8 - 10 minutesd · 7/29/2010

    NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
  6. Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/21/2019

    Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

  7. Engage Your Curiosity

    Engage Your Curiosity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/8/2019

    Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.

  8. The Powers No One Can Take Away From Us

    The Powers No One Can Take Away From Us

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 16 - 24 minutes · 1/21/2020

    We can choose our stories of interpretation, and how to respond. And while stories of self-sufficiency can (to a degree) give us more influence over our own lives, they don't erase oppression, war, nor climate change. When stories omit a lens that includes impacts of interdependence, oppression, and structural inequities, stories can also keep us disconnected and blocked from compassion for self and others -- and perpetuating an oppressive status quo. However, with this lens we can make greater compassion and collective liberation possible. Even as the outcome is unknown.

  9. Intention and Effect

    Intention and Effect

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 8/9/2020

    When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

  10. Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

    Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 4/27/2021

    For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.

  11. Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact

    Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/22/2023

    Blame is a misguided habit that's used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our experience without trying to escape it.

  12. The Power of Being Heard

    The Power of Being Heard

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/27/2019

    Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

  13. NVC Conference

    NVC Conference

    17 Trainers

    Live Zoom Course · ·

    • Uncover the expansive possibilities of Nonviolent Communication in growing compassion for a more empathic world
    • Engage with 17 global trainers on 17+ unique topics
    • Connect with an international audience from novices to experts
    • Immerse yourself in a festival of learning, fun, and community
  14. Going Beyond Fear

    Going Beyond Fear

    Eddie Zacapa

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/15/2025

    Fear can show up as a thought or feeling. When we think and dwell on fear and get stuck, fear becomes our worst enemy. For a healthier approach, discover what brings up the emotion of fear by looking for the unmet need behind it. Next, identify the stimulus for the fear. Then satisfy the need(s) with suitable strategies. You can also reassure yourself based on the truth, evidence, and facts. Or ask a friend for support. 
  15. Taking Action to Change Our Experience

    Taking Action to Change Our Experience

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/24/2020

    Trainer Tip: With empathy, ponder one area of your life that you are unhappy with today. Consider whether you can take action to change the experience and meet your needs.

  16. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  17. Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 3/21/2023

    Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to control, shame, or punishment.

  18. Before you write

    Melissa .

    Author Support · ·

  19. Confidentiality Agreement

    Confidentiality Agreement

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

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