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  1. Empathy, a Potent Healer

    Empathy, a Potent Healer

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/13/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy, hearing feelings and needs behind someone’s words, can be incredibly healing -- and it can help us come to better understanding and resolution. Empathize with at least on person today. Read on for an example of applied empathy.

  2. Liberating Ourselves from Our “Shoulds”

    Liberating Ourselves from Our “Shoulds”

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/2/2020

    Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.

  3. Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Empathy Doesn’t Mean Agreement

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/24/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy is about being present to a person’s feelings and needs. It is acknowledging another’s experience, not necessarily agreeing with it. If you have a different opinion than another, empathize with her first. Then, state your feelings and needs with regard to the situation.

  4. Expressing Appreciation

    Expressing Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/17/2020

    Trainer tip: When you want to thank someone expressing what that person did, how you felt about and what needs were met for you, can provide the other person with more information. It can also help her more fully understand how she contributed to you, and deepen your connection with her.

  5. Defining Enough

    Defining Enough

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/16/2020

    Trainer tip: If you have a goal, want to be a "success", or want to do "your best', define what that would look like, and how much. Identify one goal and one thing you can do today to achieve that goal and do it.

  6. A Focus on Needs

    A Focus on Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/1/2021

    There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

  7. Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/10/2021

    Instead of wondering, invest time today to ask at least one friend your friendship enhances her life. Such clarification can deepen the connection.

  8. Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/28/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.

  9. Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/12/2021

    Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

  10. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  11. Convergent Facilitation

    Convergent Facilitation

    Miki Kashtan

    Downloadable Courses · ·

    If you’ve ever dreaded attending a meeting – or watched in dismay as your group collapses into conflict – know that a methodology known as Convergent Facilitation offers you possible solutions. It’s based on one simple experience: that people come together at the level of their underlying principles, needs, aspirations, and dreams, not at the level of their surface positions.

    Convergent Facilitation is a highly efficient decision-making process developed by Miki Kashtan from the principles of Nonviolent Communication. It enables you to look beneath the surface and find the essence of what’s important to different stakeholders, and bring it together into one set of principles that lead to proposals and ultimately decisions. As a result, it readily produces solutions and decisions that everyone can embrace.

  12. You’re Not Too Much

    You’re Not Too Much

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/11/2021

    Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.

    • Move beyond anger, blame and judgment… 
    • Make sense of the baffling or offensive people in your life… 
    • Deepen your compassion for yourself and others… and
    • Transform your old thought and speaking patterns into new ones that inspire harmony and fun!
  13. Letting Go of Resentments

    Letting Go of Resentments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/23/2022

    Trainer Tip: When we feel resentment toward others, we are harming our own emotional health. Surprisingly, when we own up to our part of an uncomfortable situation, we can release the pain and resentment. Such honesty can provide healing. Read on for a related anecdote of how this can play out.

  14. Keeping Our Perspective

    Keeping Our Perspective

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/7/2022

    Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.

  15. Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

    Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/26/2022

    Trainer Tip: Thinking someone is bad, wrong, or evil can make it more difficult to connect with them. If we focus on this kind of thinking, we stay in the problem or conflict. The minute we step out of judgement and listen for the needs underlying their actions, we begin working for the solution. Put your focus in the direction of the result you want. Read on for an example.

  16. Building A Feelings Vocabulary

    Building A Feelings Vocabulary

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/15/2023

    Trainer Tip: Without knowing our feelings, its harder to live fully present, take care of ourselves, and make sound decisions. If its difficult for you to know what you feel and to express your feelings, consider reviewing a list of feelings, practice expanding your feelings vocabulary, and naming your feelings.

  17. Taking Responsibility For Our Requests

    Taking Responsibility For Our Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/7/2023

    Trainer Tip: It's important to design requests to fit specific needs. Otherwise people may do exactly what you ask and still, your needs may not get met. Before you make a request of someone, notice if the strategy you are considering is likely to meet your needs. If not, consider making a different request that may be more satisfying to you.

  18. I See the Spirit in You

    I See the Spirit in You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/26/23

    Trainer Tip: We can voice our upset about a situation and still see the higher self in the other person. Honest expression can deepen connection and bring us closer to resolution and connection, when we're not judging them. To know that they're a spiritual being, but think they're an insensitive slob or egotistical bore, is a contradiction. Instead, look for the needs they want to meet. See the spiritual being in everyone—even yourself.

  19. How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    How Anger Can Help or Hinder

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/25/2023

    We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

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