Welcome to the NVC Library

This pandemic is an immense opportunity, and a dire catastrophe in the making. It’s a crisis within many planetary crises — during which, our habits as individuals, and as a collective, are challenged because they don’t sustain us. Now we are pushed to respond freshly and join forces in ways that seemed impossible before.

Trainer tip: Various life circumstances that can seem to be something that we don't want, and we may think of them as bad. And then later the situation may reveal that it's a circumstance that we do want, and we may think of it as good. Instead, of evaluating our day as good or bad we can acknowledge the feelings and needs that are present. Read on for a few anecdotes that illustrate this.

Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. And so, let’s be clear. Let’s be discerning. Let’s be compassionate. Let’s pay attention.

As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that is happening in the COVD-19 pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. 

During a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, we can draw upon inner and outer resources: gratitude, awareness of our senses and breath, plus compassion for self and others. We can also expand our understanding to curtail fear -- and limit the amount of time and energy we spend fighting and resisting the truth of what’s happening.

Here's a five-step 30 day practice to cultivate gratitude, using the practice of observations, needs, feelings, presence, vitality, awareness of contribution, sharing power and interdependence.

Trainer Tip: If you make a specific and doable request as soon as you notice your needs, you'll have a better possibility of getting them met. It's also more likely your request will support the other person to contribute to your life. Make at least one specific, doable request of someone today as soon as you notice your needs.

When faced with someone’s grief for the world, how do you engage with them in a way that is informed? In this session, Kristin suggests exploring what they might be grieving… what they’re afraid of losing… and what it is that they love.

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

How much money to pay? And how much money to ask for? The supply and demand logic basically say that we ask for the most that “the market can absorb” and pay “the least that we can get away with.” We can instead, we can engage in experiments that focus on connecting to and satisfying needs. We can also engage with our varying degrees of access to resources within the existing economy and consider how we want to make choices about resources, especially when we have access to power.

Trainer Tip: With empathy, ponder one area of your life that you are unhappy with today. Consider whether you can take action to change the experience and meet your needs.

This handout defines and contrasts "empathy" alongside "responses may meet needs, but are not empathy" (such as advice, correcting, consoling, etc).

What can we do to bring vitality and resourcefulness back into our lives when we are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or frustrated? Read on for a nine step process.

Trainer Tip: When considering your "deal breakers" consider what you want from a relationship rather than how it will look. For instance, maybe my need for abundance can be met by someone who is independently wealthy, so he doesn’t have to “have a good job”. When you shift your focus from strategies to needs, you may be pleasantly surprised what the universe brings. Read on for more.

Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

A chosen, interdependent world… In most cases, that's sure not the world we live in today, is it.  But it could be the world we live in tomorrow. And you can choose to be part of bringing that better world to life – to be part of a gradual, joyful transformation – simply by using the dynamic, living power of Dialogue.

Join Kelly Bryson and go Psychologically and Spiritually Spelunking into your own Caverns of Consciousness, using the inner mining tools of NVC Self-Empathy, Progoff Journaling processes, Focusing, and individual work. Get self-empathy tools that will help you rejuvenate yourself and your relationships.

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Eric Bowers in journeying through the world of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) as he expands on the theories and tools from his book Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success. You'll discover why IPNB and NVC complement each other so well, especially in the powerful practice of Somatic-Based Resonant Empathy.

The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.