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Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

This telecourse recording is for anyone wanting to integrate empathy into his/her life in a more natural, authentic way.

How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

In this brief audio segment, John Kinyon offers a guided tour of our inner maps of conflict, including interpersonal mediation, chooser/educator, enemy images and making amends maps.

Jeff Brown moderates a fishbowl discussion discussing why it's uncomfortable for them to talk about privilege… what they're doing to be aware of / combat racism… and the role of empathy and NVC around privilege.

We can get stuck in our heads. All kinds of thoughts float into our minds. We then get thoughts about those thoughts, they might even make you feel a certain way or change a behaviour. But what happens when we connect our feelings with the physical sensations in our bodies? As part of our teaching at NVC we have incorporated movement work to help us connect with where we hold emotions and how we can process them effectively.

Judging or criticizing others indicates pain, unmet needs and a coping strategy. It distracts you from yourself and can give you the illusion of control. You may think you see more than they do, imagining criticism will bring change. But even a correct analysis won’t inspire change if they hear criticism. Instead, the moment you notice judgments or criticism turn towards yourself with compassion. What are your feelings and needs?

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.

Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."