Flash Sale! 50% Off Select Course Recordings

Sale Ends
  • 5


  • 8


  • 48


Header Image

Learn to Recognize and Manage Reactivity

  • Notice what your reactive response looks like
  • Intervene with your reactivity so you can recenter
  • Respond to someone’s reactivity with empathy
  • Make clear requests in response to your reactions

Tuesdays, May 28-July 2, 2024 (six sessions)
4:00-6:00PM Pacific (California) Time • What time is it in your location?
Online via Zoom


Click to watch Samuel, Rebeca and Ceferino share their experiences of learning with LaShelle.

An online course that teaches individuals how to turn reactive impulses into thoughtful responses.

It is possible to manage reactivity. We just need to be taught how.

If you have found your way to this page, the chances are: 

  • You know that the way you respond to a situation can determine how that situation will play out.
  • You value compassionate relationships yet find yourself getting caught in your own reactivity (and that of others).
  • You would like to unhook yourself from reactivity and stay grounded in what matters most.

So what is reactivity?

As humans, we respond with reactivity when we perceive there is a threat to something that we need or value. 

It can happen easily — we are not short of triggers!

Picture these scenarios…

😤 Sally snaps at her partner when he forgot to pick up the carrots. 
😡 Aayan yells at the kids when they have not brushed their teeth even after his three instructions to do so. 
😠 Ashley hits her computer keyboard with angry hard keystrokes when their boss asks them to submit a report before the end of the day, and it is already 5pm.
😨 Diya’s whole body tenses up when she realizes the car will not start and she is due at the Dr’s office in 10 minutes. 
😰 Boston sweats when he finds out there is a test tomorrow and he has not prepared.
😢 Lee gasps when they realize they missed the last post and their Mom’s birthday gift will not arrive on time. 

Someone caught in the grips of reactivity might notice their heart start to race. Or maybe their breathing goes short and shallow. Perhaps a frown appears. Or they purse their lips. Or gasp.

They might also experience a sense of being stuck. Unable to see any perspectives than their own. 

And they might also find their mind goes blank. Their ability to tap into their creativity, skills and wisdom just pop off somewhere else for a while. 

You don’t have to look far to find a list of ways to calm yourself down after a reactive response — it’s probably a pretty familiar list to you, right? 

…Or take a deep breath
…Or notice what’s going on with your body 
…Or journal it out
…Or know your triggers
…Or remember this moment will pass 

The list goes on.

So even though we know all this, why is it still so difficult to stay calm? 

Because there’s more to it.

❓Is it how long you pause for? No. But it certainly helps to pause.
❓Is it how deep you breathe? No. But it does help to breathe deeply for a moment
❓Is it how often you journal? Not really. Though journalling can help.

What’s the secret to managing reactivity?  

To manage our reactivity we need to:

Recognize it before it takes over. Notice it has popped in to say hello. 
Intervene with it. Get yourself centered
Listen to it. It’s trying to tell you something!
Decide what you want to do next. Is there a request you would like to make?

We are reactive beings — so let’s skip the idea of a life without reactivity!


You do not need to avoid reacting to life’s happenings
you just need to know how to handle your reactions when they happen.

And identify what your reactions are trying to tell you
…because they are always trying to tell you something!


Introducing LaShelle’s course

Join LaShelle Lowe-Charde as she explores how we can recognize and manage reactivity.

This is not just another one of those easy-to-find lists telling you to pause and breathe. Though those techniques may come up — they are part of the process. But that’s just it, they are only part of the process.

Learn to Recognize and Manage your Reactivity is a 6-session deep dive into how the practice of Nonviolent Communication can help you recognize and manage your reactivity.

Topics include: 

  • Recognizing reactivity in yourself and others the moment it starts to appear, before it takes over
  • Noticing what your reactive response looks like
  • Listening to what your reactivity (or someone else’s) might be trying to tell you about what you (or they) need
  • Identifying your triggers
  • Intervening with your reactivity to find groundedness by practicing self-regulation strategies
  • Giving empathy to someone who has responded with reactivity
  • Giving yourself empathy when you respond with reactivity
  • Find specific doable actions or requests you can make in the moment

When you make a conscious decision to notice your reactivity, amazing things can happen in your relationships.

What you can expect

This course is designed to help you find a new way forward. It will include:

✔️ Experiential learning: content and practice are balanced to aid understanding, integration, and build confidence. 
✔️ Key concepts and skills will be presented by LaShelle.
✔️ Participants will work individually, in pairs and in small groups to learn and practice.

Exploring your own reactivity can require vulnerability and might bring some uncomfortable feelings to the surface. We are confident that the group structure we offer coupled with your own resources will create a stretching fulfilling learning experience.

Not sure if it’s for you?

We want you to feel good about your learning decisions with the NVC Academy. 

You can join the first session of this course completely free — so you can try it out before you make your decision about purchasing. 


  • Video and audio recordings of every session
  • Forum discussion available in the classroom
  • Lifetime access to the classroom
  • Translated captions available in 30+ languages 

Registration Fee: $462
NVC Library members: $370*

Payment Plan:
Make 2 payments of $235*

*NVC Library members get 20% off their registration fee using code NVCL at time of checkout


When you register, you will receive an email with complete instructions on how to access your course.
Note that course recordings display images of active speakers only, and are made available to all registrants.

About LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

CNVC Certified Trainer from Portland, Oregon, USA

My name is LaShelle Lowe-Chardé. I am passionate about helping people express their deepest values in their relationships and creating clarity and connection with self and others. This passion started with my family of origin. It was as rich with love as it was with loud arguments, explosions of anger, fear, and chaos. Growing up with a heart full of love and a mind wrought with confusion, I was highly motivated to find clarity and create the life of beauty and joy I knew was possible. Ever since I can remember I have devoted...


Dates and times are adjusted to your location. You can select a different time zone at the bottom of the list.