

Search Results: time
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Jim and Jori offer practical tools to help us develop patience through a process they call WAIT: Wake up, Accept, Insight, Take a step.
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Listen to the Universe is a fun group exercise to explore how we focus our attention and interpret what we experience.
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Trainer Tip: Mary offers a perspective on how to know if our need for honesty is being met.
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Trainer Tip: Mary shares an experience about accepting responsibility for her actions and how that lead her to greater choice and freedom.
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Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.
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Join CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian to find out how to speak up in a way that ensures you're heard, even in challenging situations.
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Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.
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Asking for help is difficult for many of us, but can yield rich rewards.
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Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.
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- Discover how to be radically honest without pushing “the other” away
- Learn to ask firmly and gracefully for what you want, hear ‘NO,’ and stay alive
- Explore how the power of empathy dissolves anger, pain, and fear
- Discern the essence of what others say, no matter how it is expressed
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Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.
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Trainer Tip: Overwhelmed with all that you want to do? If so, what are you working to change? Is it a behavior or a consciousness? Where were you with this issue when you first decided to create change? And now where are you? Celebrating your progress can encourage you to keep trying. You wouldn’t expect to jump on a treadmill and jog three miles the first time. Don't have the same expectations for your emotional fitness either!
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- Discover how Spiral Dynamics can offer more understanding of human nature
- Learn from a Ukrainian NVC trainer and Spiral Dynamics experts
- Better grasp the evolution of human needs, values, and life conditions
- Explore how to apply NVC in situations that involve extreme violence
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Trainer Tip: In an efficient group process, clarity is key. Try to only say things if you are clear what you want back from the group. Then ask for what you want so people don’t have to figure it out for you. If someone says something and you’re not sure what he wants back from the group, anyone can assist by saying this: “I’m confused about what you would like from us. Would you help us clarify what kind of a response you’re looking for?”
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Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.
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Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.
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One thing that makes empathic understanding difficult yet valuable is that it can be humbling. If I really open myself to hearing and understanding, while trusting my inner strength of self-knowing, I may be changed by what I hear. My core beliefs or understanding might change and grow. This openness could be key to transforming the energy of conflict into new possibilities for greater connection, creativity, and well-being.
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Bring NVC beyond personal growth, explore perspectives that transform how we respond to crisis.
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Dear friends,
Happy April Fool’s Day, which, according to Wikipedia, “is an annual custom on April 1st consisting of practical jokes and hoaxes.” I always think of my Mom on April Fool’s Day. She was mostly a stern person who scorned practical jokes, but on April Fool’s Day, she would play hoaxes on my father. One year, she sewed his boxer shorts’ fly shut. Another year, she reorganized all the drawers in their bedroom. Both of these really made me laugh because it was so out of character coming from her! This April 1st, I do not want to play a trick on anyone, but I do want...
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Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”
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