Search the NVC Library

We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.

Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.

Trainer Tip: When someone is in pain and lashing out, might be a time when empathy is needed most. Empathizing in these moments can be very challenging. Mary offers a few words of ecouragement for these situations.

Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

Ask the Trainer: "At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of 'formal NVC' off-putting, or mechanical. Do you have any input or insight into this?"

Trainer tip: Empathy, hearing feelings and needs behind someone’s words, can be incredibly healing -- and it can help us come to better understanding and resolution. Empathize with at least on person today. Read on for an example of applied empathy.

Dear friends,

This morning, I woke up thinking about a poignant moment from a few years ago. My wife, Kim, and I were driving down a busy 4-lane road, and we were in a hurry to get somewhere important. Then we saw a mama duck with many small ducklings trying to get across the street. Kim pulled over, and we both hopped out to stop 4 lanes of traffic so Mama Duck could get across with all her ducklings. The last one had some kind of injury, so it took a very, very long time for all of them to make it across.

Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self responsibility, and respect are consistent over time.

Ingrid guides parents to navigate everyday parenting challenges using the NVC model, such as the behavior of a frustrated child, a messy room, transition times and a child who collapses when things don't work out as she had hoped.

The existing unequal risks and impacts people of certain race, class and identities face in society is magnified in these strenuous times -- especially with things such as illness, financial well being, discrimination, attacks, and death. As responsive NVC practitioners we can stand in solidarity with those who are differentially impacted. Read on for this, and additional ways to spot common pitfalls of doing so.

There are times when someone judges us, or meets us with prejudice, and its easier for us to respond by hating them, or judging ourselves as not good enough. How can we love another person instead without excusing their actions? Roxy tells us her story with wonderment, grief and mourning.

We're in difficult times - possibly at the brink of extinction. What can we do in response? Some nonlinear steps: A.) Notice what isn't working; B.) Mourn so that we can move "towards" from an expanded space inside; C.) Analyze to bring a fuller understanding of what's happening and what's needed; D.) Reframe our inner and outer narratives; E.) Discern what we can contribute; F.) Care; and G.) Bring in support for more resilience and creativity.

Is it dangerous for large numbers of people to be absorbing disturbing news alone? Given the intensity of our times, making choices based on conscious awareness and discernment in relation to current events is essential for our ability to stay engaged, and to also wisely meet our collective challenges with agency and power. Here are five tips for how to help stay sane in relation to the news cycle.

In times of stress, some part of you may still hold the belief that you can't be present for the stressor and survive. Some part of you may believe you have to go away. There are three things you can consider when attempting to intervene with the reactive pattern of shutting down: how you relate to the shutting down, access to self-confidence, and engagement. Read on for more.

How many times do we fall into the same hole, hit the same wall, get entangled into the same patterns? There seem to be hidden forces within us that keep unconsciously leading us, again and again, into the same melody of our lives. In this session, we will try to see our life-journey as a whole and rehabilitate our capacity to be in this existence of ours more directly and fully.

You value generosity and you often give easily from the heart. There are those times, however, when you get snagged by a sense of obligation. You feel tense and resentful. You don't want to continue with this attitude, but how can you reconnect with the desire to give from the heart? Let’s touch on three essential elements that support giving from the heart: choice, mourning, and acceptance.

• Hear from four respected NVC trainers offering heartfelt insights and real-life strategies 
• Connect with others seeking compassion, courage, and meaningful action
• Attend as a gift — pay what you can to support NVC Academy
• Discover simple, practical tools to stay grounded, clear, and empowered—no matter what’s happening in the world!