Flash Sale! 50% Off Select Course Recordings
Days
Hrs
Mins
Trainer Tip: When we connect our feelings to our needs, we put ourselves in a postion to get our needs met and mourn when they aren't met. Here's a practical tip you can practice daily to improve the quality of your life.
Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
Please join us as we remember the work and life of Inbal Kashtan. She offered this parenting Q&A session in NVC Academy's 2013 Parenting Conference.
Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication.
Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.
Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"
Trainer Tip: Ready to start a fight because you're right? Consider another strategy.
Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."
Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”
Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you.
Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for...
We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.
Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.
Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by...
How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.
Learning Tool
2 - 3 minutes
Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true...
Trainer Tip: Whether we listen to our own or the other person’s needs first, connecting to needs can help us release judgments of others, see their humanness, help us to begin to hear them and ultimately connect to them. Be aware today of times when you are judging someone. Then be aware of your own needs to improve your connection to them.
Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.
Some people in the NVC community consider the words "privilege" and "power" triggering and/or evaluative. From this perspective, how can the concepts of "privilege" and "power" be considered part of the NVC teaching? This writing piece examines the power and privilege debate. It also discusses what the author sees as Marshall Rosenberg and Gandhi's stance on the subject...