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If you're stuck when making a decision with someone, it's likely that you've skipped hearing and connecting to one another's needs. Slow down and listen for what's really important underneath the content. This allows you to make decisions that are more fulfilling and harmonious.

During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

There are many layers of consciousness, knowledge, and skill that contribute to a successful negotiation. A successful negotiation is one where honor and connection lead to a way forward, and leads to a plan of action that considers and meets everyone's needs in that situation. Read on for three fundamental principles that help with successful needs-based negotiation.

Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others.

Use this interactive empathy exercise to track the relationship and shifting of body sensations, feelings and needs as you note them out loud.

Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?

The word "privilege" signifies the benefit to the person having it, and the relationship between that person’s benefit and others' lack of benefit. When privileged, there are incentives to not see this interdependent link. For instance, it's easier for the wealthy to think of the poverty of many and the wealth of some are unrelated. If the wealthy want to keep wealth they would need to continue with approaches rooted in this separation.

Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning, and allow grief.

If someone asks you to love them as is, try wondering what contributes to their need for acceptance. Loving someone and empathizing with them, doesn't mean you can't make requests for change. Recall that your requests are about your needs, not about them. Understand that requests may not be met due to lack of resources or skills, even if the desire is there. Clarify how important the request is to you and how negotiation can look.

Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers ways to incorporate NVC empathy guesses, feelings and needs into everyday conversations. This approach is geared towards adding deeper connection to the natural flow of conversations. The technique has become known as Street Giraffe.

Join certified CNVC trainers Jim and Jori Manske to explore the relationship between gratitude and Nonviolent Communication as a way to learn and practice NVC.

• Discover how to bring resonance into your conversations with others
• Learn how resonant language and NVC empathy come together
• Practice consent and saying “no”, even when it is difficult
• Feel the movement into more intimacy in your relationships!

Trainer Tip: Using NVC as a tool to transform our judgments can revolutionize our perceptions and relationships.

Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a caller who outlines a conflict between two people who are crucial to the cohesiveness of a dance troupe and asks, “What do you do when you see a conflict between two people in a group, when you are not directly involved?” Miki starts by acknowledging the challenge of mediating a conflict when you have not been asked to do so. In such a situation, she recommends that people speak from their own experience and then outlines how one could do this.