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How to get past the sting of a painful comment? Get empathy from self or another. Then connect with the commenter's feelings and needs. The more you can do this the less personally you may take it. Then work together on specific, do-able, authentic agreement about doing something differently next time, the kind that will enable you both to shift out of reactivity. Three things need to be in...
Self-compassion is essential for healing trauma and restoring your wholeness. It is also an antidote to reactivity and separation, allowing presence to emerge. In developing presence, you can become what the world needs most in these times of intensity and chaos. This work can strengthen your skills to be more fully in relationship with all that life offers while allowing your heart to be moved...
What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy...
Join Jim Manske for practice exercises that will help you navigate away from reactivity toward a more compassionate way of being in the world, and learn to express vulnerable honesty(scary honesty} .
When you hear yourself saying that you are being abandoned, turn toward your experience with compassion and curiosity. Check in with your interpretations, feelings, and needs. Reach out for support. This can help dissolve feelings of reactivity and allow perspective. You are then able to make requests of yourself about what you’d like to do differently in the future to honor for your needs when...
Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a...
When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.
Practice making requests for feedback, clarity, and action. Opportunities for making requests might be when you expected something different from what you got, were treated undesirably, and noticed inner constriction or reactivity. Identify observations, feelings, and values to support finding the request. Ensure your request states what you want, is specific, names the present-tense action,...
When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things? Self-empathy, empathy, and a commitment to...
Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.
When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options...
Jim and Jori Manske share strategies for employing gratitude to create more joy in life, jettisoning the fear of asking for what you want, and welcoming feedback no matter how it is delivered.
How can you remember to use the skills and consciousness of NVC in the heat of the moment? Jim and Jori Manske will show you how in these recordings from their 2018 course! They teach that when and how you address the conflicts that emerge in your everyday life matters! By slowing down and considering the state of your resources before engaging in a conflict, you increase the likelihood of...
No one likes demands. Do you want to have access to choice when requests or demands come your way? Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she provides tools to free yourself from the submit/rebel dynamic.
John and Stephanie combine mediating conflict, parenting and study of brain science to this ground-breaking course recording on how to funnel your anger and your child’s anger toward mutual caring and peace.
Discover how the perennial strength of compassion and the living energy of needs can help you develop resilience in order to remain present with yourself and others amidst today's challenges.
Join Susan Skye as she guides you to experience profound transformation of the inner jackal messages resulting from childhood trauma. Discover how the limbic system of the brain works, and transform jackal messages stored there with compassionate connection.
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...
The NVC Circle of Life is a mandala illustrating the process and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication. Mandala literally means "sacred circle" and symbolizes wholeness, balance and harmony.