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  1. Ready to submit your work?

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  2. Self-Management = More Joy at Work

    Self-Management = More Joy at Work

    Dian Killian

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 3/30/2019

    Want to manage more effectively with more ease and joy and get your staff to make changes? The first, crucial step is to learn how to change your behavior to impact what's happening. For example, we can get the inner clarity we need to reframe questions we ask ourselves, recap, make clear requests, give concrete feedback, etc. This article expands on how self-management can increase influence...

  3. Finding Courage

    Finding Courage

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 6/19/2019

    Telling yourself to be a certain way or have more of a certain quality (like courage), is a set-up for self-criticism and possibly freezing or avoiding. Instead, access effective action by asking yourself questions like: "If I could be or have that, what actions would be different inside or out?" "If I could be or have that, what needs would be met and knowing those are the needs, what could I do or ask for that would meet those needs?"

  4. Healing a Repetitive Reactive Dynamic

    Healing a Repetitive Reactive Dynamic

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/24/2020

    In healing reactivity try identifying your most common complaints, wishes, or requests. Or when you tend to defend, justify, get angry, or protect. Find the tender needs. You can recall when you experienced deep nourishment of that need. Several times a week nourish your tender needs. Be clear about the strategy to address needs by answering key questions. Read on for more.

  5. Confronting with Care

    Confronting with Care

    An Approach that Builds Trust

    Martha Lasley

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 3/3/2020

    People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

  6. Facing the Holidays in a Pandemic

    Facing the Holidays in a Pandemic

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 12/7/2020

    The pandemic asks us to examine the way we have always done things. It asks to try something new and notice what happens. This is an opportunity to ask why you have done holidays in a certain way and what needs it met to do it that way. Perhaps it is an opportunity to experiment and see what new things might arise. Read on for questions to ask yourself that might help you process your triggers, "should's", feelings, needs and dilemmas.

  7. Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

  8. How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

    How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 8/31/2021

    While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

  9. A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

    Arnina Kashtan

    Video · 8 minutes · 09/05/2021

    In this brief introduction to The Work from Byron Katie, Arnina shows the connection of The Work to Nonviolent Communication. Arnina points out how the first two questions of The Work correspond to the observation step of the NVC process, and invites us into deeper self-inquiry.

  10. The Apology

    The Apology

    Brussel Sprouts for the Relationship

    Lore Baur

    Video · 1 hour, 1 minute · 11/16/2019

    How do you repair a relationship when your words or actions unintentionally impact another in a negative way? And what keeps you from apologizing? Join Lore to explore – and answer – these questions and more!

  11. NVC Life Hacks 14

    NVC Life Hacks 14

    Purpose of NVC

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 7 minutes · 04/24/2019

    Nonviolent Communication at its core is about the quality of connection that will lead to everybody's needs being met. In this months 'Purpose of NVC' episode, we ask ourselves five questions that help us gain an awareness of where Nonviolent Communication is being used.

  12. What Is NVC? Approaches to NVC

    What Is NVC? Approaches to NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/1/2021

    Here's a table outlining eight ideas people have regarding what NVC "is". It provides columns for the principle, related needs and strategies of the NVC approach. You can add to the table your own ideas for NVC approaches. Included are five sets of reflection questions to explore what speaks to you, what would expand your range of options, what brings up discomfort, and more.
  13. Interventions For Anger

    Interventions For Anger

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/8/2023

    Anger is a sign that you're resisting what's happening because you perceive an overwhelming threat, not trusting yourself to handle what's happening directly. Vulnerable feelings under anger are usually fear, hurt, or grief. Experiencing and expressing these feelings and connecting them to your needs, gives you access to more skill, insight, compassion, and wisdom. Read on for 3 questions to ask yourself when angry.

  14. In this practice group class, certified CNVC trainers Jim and Jori Manske are facilitating the exploration of the topic of Mourning using the three modes of NVC: self-empathy, honesty and empathic presence. You'll learn how to accept a loss, let yourself feel the sadness and all the emotions, and allow yourself to grieve.

  15. See Old Relationship Dynamics In Intimate Relationships

    See Old Relationship Dynamics In Intimate Relationships

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 6/4/2023

    Learn how unconscious impulses can lead to depleting patterns. Here, we look at two forms of reactive attempts we may use to avoid future pain, and how to make conscious decisions instead. Read on for questions that can help us see if we're making decisions from a grounded place, such as taking time to reflect on values, receive support from others, and getting curious about others' views.

  16. Using Conflict to Reflect on Fulfilling My Needs

    Using Conflict to Reflect on Fulfilling My Needs

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/26/2010

    Trainer Tip: When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself.
  17. Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

  18. The Power of Silent Empathy

    The Power of Silent Empathy

    Rita Herzog

    Articles · 1 page · 7/29/2010

    When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.

  19. The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

    The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

  20. Vulnerability as a Spiritual Path

    Vulnerability as a Spiritual Path

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 7/28/2010

    What is a good baby? If you have been raised in a Western culture, chances are you know the answer right away (whether or not you agree with it). A good baby is one that doesn't cry! The training against vulnerability starts very early in life.

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