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  1. Faux Feelings (Judgements) Handouts and Cards

    Faux Feelings (Judgements) Handouts and Cards

    Katrina Vaillancourt

    Learning Tools · 5 - 7 minutes · 12/1/2024

    We typically think of certain words as feelings when they can be judgements (eg. “abandoned”). Hidden within evaluative/judgement words are true feelings and needs (eg. if we think we’re abandoned we may feel lonely or hurt, and want togetherness or belonging). With this handout discover more hidden feelings and needs within the judgements that sound like feelings. Then download the card deck to further practice and learn.
  2. You Sound Like a Therapist!

    You Sound Like a Therapist!

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 6 minutes · 06/07/2011

    CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how using OFNR or "Classic NVC" is for practice, not real life situations.

  3. Learning How to Listen

    Learning How to Listen

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 4/11/2019

    Listening is a cornerstone of dialogue and a powerful metaphor for spiritual practice. When we’re willing and able to listen, we open a conduit that allows connection and understanding to happen.

  4. Curiosity, The Art of Waiting, and Finding Peace

    Curiosity, The Art of Waiting, and Finding Peace

    Dian Killian

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 4/5/2019

    Sitting with uncertainty can be very uncomfortable and evoke anxiety. Or it can be a practice that brings in the curiosity and inner spaciousness that allows for creative solutions to emerge, and that help us to relax our attachment to outcomes.  Here's a closer look...

  5. NVC Life Hacks 7

    NVC Life Hacks 7

    Facilitation

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 3 minutes · 09/25/2018

    Leading an Nonviolent Communication workshop is a good way to learn and practice NVC skills. Here are Shantigrabha and Gesine's seven top tips for facilitators.

  6. 10 Steps to Peace

    10 Steps to Peace

    Gary Baran

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/19/2019

    Gary Baran offers 10 things we can do to contribute to internal, interpersonal, and organizational peace...

  7. Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

    Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 7/7/2019

    An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy.

  8. When You Are Being "Talked At"

    When You Are Being "Talked At"

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 7/13/2019

    Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.

  9. Secure Differentiation

    Secure Differentiation

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/25/2019

    Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.

  10. Finding Courage

    Finding Courage

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 6/19/2019

    Telling yourself to be a certain way or have more of a certain quality (like courage), is a set-up for self-criticism and possibly freezing or avoiding. Instead, access effective action by asking yourself questions like: "If I could be or have that, what actions would be different inside or out?" "If I could be or have that, what needs would be met and knowing those are the needs, what could I do or ask for that would meet those needs?"

  11. Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries

    Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 6/1/2019

    What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a place of clear differentiation, boundaries, agency, care and discernment.

  12. Responding to Criticism

    Responding to Criticism

    At Work and At Home

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 9/24/2019

    In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

  13. Connected Decision Making

    Connected Decision Making

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/6/2019

    If you're stuck when making a decision with someone, it's likely that you've skipped hearing and connecting to one another's needs. Slow down and listen for what's really important underneath the content. This allows you to make decisions that are more fulfilling and harmonious.

  14. Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

    Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 6 - 9 minutes · 9/9/2019

    For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.

  15. Overcoming Defensiveness

    Overcoming Defensiveness

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 9/30/2019

    A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.

  16. Preparing for Difficult Dialogue

    Preparing for Difficult Dialogue

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 10/3/2019

    Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a list of questions to help you focus on how to do that.

  17. How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 4 minutes · 10/18/2019

    Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.

  18. Empathy vs. Investigation

    Empathy vs. Investigation

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 12/29/2019

    To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more about how to do this.

  19. Empathy Buddy Guidelines

    Empathy Buddy Guidelines

    Peggy Smith

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/14/2019

    Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.

  20. Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/18/2020

    What can we do to bring vitality and resourcefulness back into our lives when we are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or frustrated? Read on for a nine step process.

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