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When supporting someone with less privilege, first check with them how you can support.  If you're reacting more strongly to their undesirable experience than they are, this then shifts the dynamic so that they're setting aside what they want to attend to your feelings and needs - this may become work that they didn't sign up for.  Read on for what to do instead to support more equity.

In pandemic many are asked to stay home. If we are experiencing violence at home we're also most at risk of harm or death if we leave. There are also less visible pieces at work. In this situation, acknowledging our pain, needs and experience can lighten the internal load to meet what is real, and claim our truth. We can do the same for our kids. This can open more pathways forward, and provide strength to leave when its more viable.

With worthlessness comes the idea of not belonging or not being worthy of belonging. In this context, belonging is more than an identity with a particular group. It is the sort of belonging that enables you to get other fundamental needs met, including safety, support, nourishment, and love. Unconscious attempts win worthiness and belonging often effectively blocks the very thing its pursuing. Read on for more.

• Discern what is preventing your communication style from being effective
• Create a communication style that works
• Resolve everyday conflicts and misunderstandings
• Create a deeper sense of connection, trust, and cooperation
• Heal old wounds between you and others, as well as within yourself
• Be the leader and contributor you want to be in any situation

Listen to Miki Kashtan explain the importance of intention in developing our skill at creating solutions that work for everyone. Neither fighting nor giving up are qualities of nonviolence, but rather a fierce determination to hold the needs of all parties may arise.

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.

Trust, flow, information sharing, and learning is reduced in conflict. Conflict can indicate incapacity in at least one of five systems that every group, community, or organization needs to function. Attending to conflict at systems-level helps reduce over relying on momentary connection that isn’t anchored in decisions about what comes next. When there's enough agreed upon systems within capacity, that attend to enough kinds of situations, we're likely to have little conflict.

Praise may disconnect us from our own confidence, intrinsic motivation, or discernment. It may lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, codependency, a tendency to criticize others or fix others, and more. Instead, without evaluative words we can sincerely share what we specifically liked about what they did, and what needs were met for us.

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

Every interaction with children contains messages about who they are, who we are, and what life is like. By engaging attachment parenting and NVC we give them rare gifts in society: to know their parents well, to discover the effects of their actions without being blamed for them, and to experience the power of contributing to meeting others' needs, and the power to move towards mutually satisfying outcomes.

With these exercises you can practice identifying the reactions to conflict, such as fight, flight, freeze, the posture taken, what you see, hear, smell, touch taste and what needs are at play. They will also bring in curiosity about what next step may help. One of these exercises prompts you to journal some of these things this week.

When someone's behavior costs us, we may attempt to negotiate as much as possible. After some rounds of this, if there's no change we may reach a tolerance limit. So we may set a boundary for self care and clarity about what's unworkable. But depending on intentions and the way its said, this may or may not be a punishment to get even. Here, clarity about intentions, feelings, needs, actions and dialogue may support us.

When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.

In these exercises, you'll transform your urge to rebel with punishment or reward. Punishing can include withholding love or other necessities, attacking verbally with insults or name calling (directly or with others), giving a "dirty look," or attacking physically. With these exercises you'll allow space for your urge. You'll also explore needs, benefits, consequences, and lternatives.

For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.

In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up.

Part of nonviolence is having an infinite circle of care that includes simultaneous care of ourselves, others and groups: no one is beyond the pale. Plus, it's about having an infinite trust in the possibility that we can reach someone's heart even if we don't now know how -- since regardless of what this other person has done, they have the same needs. Without this kind of trust, nonviolence would crumble as way to create change.

How can we create a partnership and eye-level dialog with people who we perceive to have more power? In this session, we will create a practice of humanizing ourselves and others through empathy, practicing scary honesty, and making requests that serve both persons’ needs

Enmeshment refers to confusion about who is responsible for what. This lack of clear boundaries results in attempts to manage the other person's experience as a substitute for managing your own. When you think you're contributing to another person, but you're actually acting from enmeshment, there's inner tension and contraction. Read on for 16 common signs of enmeshment so that you can know when to pause and connect to your needs.

Listen in as Dian shares her tips and sense of urgency around bringing NVC skills to work: 1) How to use your imagination (visualization!) to help you connect with somatic responses and needs; and 2) Five built-in advantages to sharing NVC in the work place.