Awareness of how we're holding our own and others' needs is important to our development. In learning to value needs, we often go through three stages: passive, aggressive/obnoxious, and assertive/mutual. As we learn and grow, we may relate to the following differently: Whose feelings and needs are important, who is responsible for what, how our choices impact others, and consideration for...

Trainer Tip: Every human being has the same universal needs -- even as each person may choose different strategies to meet those needs. Notice the universal needs you share with other people today.

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...

Let this inspiring video guide you through exercises as if you are actually present at the workshop with Mary Mackenzie! The video opens with Mary leading you through an exercise that generates a physical experience of the NVC consciousness.

In this introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Wes Taylor discusses the two basic aspects of NVC, the consciousness and the tools that help manifest the consciousness.

In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, offers a profound insight that can change how we see and relate to our children.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the expression of our needs can sound like demands or criticism. This can make it harder for people to want to contribute to us. Today, pay attention to how you express your needs. Find ways to release the emotional charge.

To learn to identify and speak from your needs requires specific tasks and practices. Here's a list of 10 learning tasks and practices for you to choose from. Some of these ideas include using needs cards and lists, working backwards from strategies and ideal scenarios, reflecting on past experiences and relationships, and asking for/offering/exchanging empathy.

Instead of allocating resources based on needs, we cling to having more money or privilege than others because its close enough substitute for our deeper longing. We may cling to narratives that seem to legitimize this inequality as something we deserved -- such as earning it; having more talent or ability; or needing more for company growth. This soothes our discomfort of having more than...

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

What is it that we are taught we can’t have, and what is it that we are encouraged to pursue instead? This guide could help you see through what's hidden behind the curtain of our societal conditioning.

"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

Roxy Manning discusses the tendency to get attached to certain parenting strategies for control and emphasizes the importance of attuning to the child's needs rather than imposing fixed ideas of right or wrong. Using a personal example of being labeled a "bad child" for taking off uncomfortable dresses, Roxy highlights the need to observe and understand the child's perspective. She stresses the...

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan shares a tip on holding a group's needs while empathizing with a single person in the group.

Unless we change our collective ways on the planet, we will one day exceed the earth’s carrying capacity. We can only address the planet's very real limits of physical resources at the level of social organization. To operate empathically is to adjust our collective social order and patterns so that resources are more widely available and everyone's needs are met no matter what their output,...

Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution...

Have you ever found yourself passing judgment on a co-worker's seemingly disorganized desk? Mary Mackenzie's experience sheds light on the fact that she and her colleague with the "messy desk" shared a common need for order. Recognizing that our needs align can lead to a softening of judgments, creating space for connection, understanding, and harmony.

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or...