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  1. Forgiving Ourselves

    Forgiving Ourselves

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/2/2018

    Trainer Tip: Every single time you say or do something, even when you experience pain or regret, you are trying to meet a need. Forgiveness begins when we acknowledge the needs we were trying to meet in the situation.

  2. MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

    MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 9/9/2022

    “Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force,” a courageous and compassionate stand in the face of what seems to us unjustly unequal, oppressive, and violent. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love.. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. It is speaking and listening with courage, compassion, and an open heart and mind and rooted in our truth in a way that bridges understanding. And doing so without demand nor trying to convince -- all in the face of any anger, fear, oppression, inequality, violence or disagreement.

  3. Self Empathy

    Self Empathy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/24/2023

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes our actions keep us from meeting our needs. Let’s say you long for connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you, resulting in depression and self-criticism. Self-empathy can help clarify what we truly want rather than focusing on what is wrong with others or ourselves, and help us align in ways more likely to meet our needs.

  4. Focusing on Where We Are the Same

    Focusing on Where We Are the Same

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2021

    Trainer Tip: Our differences are not in our needs, but in how we attempt to meet them. This simple truth can help you lessen the conflicts in your life and your judgments of other people. Rather than focus on where you disagree, focus on where you are the same. This shift can make a profound difference in your ability to understand yourself and other people, and to bring unity to your life.

  5. Self-Righteous Anger

    Self-Righteous Anger

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/31/2017

    Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed that some of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel.

  6. Doing Something Different

    Doing Something Different

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/3/2019

    Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.

  7. Making Requests Count

    Making Requests Count

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/16/2022

    Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of meeting your needs. Read on for an example.

  8. Getting Beyond Our Self-Defeating Behaviors

    Getting Beyond Our Self-Defeating Behaviors

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 04/21/2024

    Trainer Tip: Notice if something within your agency will bring you the serenity you want. If not, then notice the needs you are trying to meet by wanting to take that action. Then then choose another action that's more likely to have the desired effect.

  9. NVC Conference

    NVC Conference

    17 Trainers

    Live Zoom Course · ·

    • Uncover the expansive possibilities of Nonviolent Communication in growing compassion for a more empathic world
    • Engage with 17 global trainers on 17+ unique topics
    • Connect with an international audience from novices to experts
    • Immerse yourself in a festival of learning, fun, and community
  10. Defining Needs

    Defining Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/20/2021

    In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the given situation.

  11. Find Space Between Needs And Strategies

    Find Space Between Needs And Strategies

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 1/26/2023

    Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution of a partnership or friendship.

  12. Being put on the spot or confronted in an unexpected way can be an unpleasant experience to have. Even more so during lockdown when meetings are held on Zoom.

    In Life Hack 35 we're exploring the feelings that come up from hearing a difficult message as well as ways you can respond. Esme recently had this experience and offered to record a one on one session with Gesine to explore the situation.

  13. Parenting for Connection

    Parenting for Connection

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 10/05/2023

    By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

  14. How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

  15. Enjoying The Process

    Enjoying The Process

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/15/2022

    Trainer Tip: Notice where you're judging or blaming people for not meeting your needs. Strive instead to notice and name the related feelings and needs longing to be met. Ask a question to check with the other person about what they want and need. This can open up the conversation towards mutually beneficial solutions.

  16. Liberating Ourselves from Our “Shoulds”

    Liberating Ourselves from Our “Shoulds”

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/2/2020

    Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.

  17. Living Abundantly

    Living Abundantly

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/7/2014

    Trainer Tip: Let's start an abundance movement! We get great joy from contributing to others lives and allowing them to contribute to ours, let's not let fear get in the way.

  18. We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

  19. Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.

  20. Principle Based Approach to Teaching NVC Basics

    Principle Based Approach to Teaching NVC Basics

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 1 hour, 17 minutes · 12/18/2017

    It’s one thing to share NVC with those who’re interested, but what about those who aren’t? How does meeting someone where they are create space for learning, and help you find a pathway forward? Miki Answers this and more.

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