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    • Look at your old patterns with warmth – while also opening yourself up to change.
    • Increase your self-compassion – and gain a solid ground to stand on.
    • Become intimate with your own survival strategies – and those of the people you love.
    • Support healing and connecting in your long-term relationships – even when it seems there is no resolution in sight!
  1. Control

    Control

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/3/2023

    Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.

  2. Myths Of Power With

    Myths Of Power With

    Everyone Can Be Included

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 12 minutes · 7/13/2023

    Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

  3. Liberty and Justice for All?

    Liberty and Justice for All?

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 4 minutes · 10/28/2023

    The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

    • Transform and heal developmental trauma 
    • Reclaim the parts of yourself that have been left behind
    • Discover the difference between developmental trauma and PTSD
    • Reawaken your heart to love
  4. We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

    As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.

  5. The Heart and Science of Empathy

    The Heart and Science of Empathy

    (5 Session Course)

    Eric Bowers

    Multi-session Course · 6 - 8 hours · 3/8/2020

    Join CNVC Certified Trainer Eric Bowers in journeying through the world of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) as he expands on the theories and tools from his book Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success. You'll discover why IPNB and NVC complement each other so well, especially in the powerful practice of Somatic-Based Resonant Empathy.

  6. Hema Pokharna shares how truly becoming a healing influence in this world, requires we each be powerful in a balanced, spiritually mature and responsible way. To a large extent, we need to develop our own healthy way of being powerful, gratitiude is a key.

  7. Directness

    Directness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/17/2021

    Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

  8. Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.

  9. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  10. In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies.

    • Access, follow and train your intuition: how to know without knowing;
    • Navigate difficult situations with care for all through an active awareness of your own power, as well as other sources of power in the room;
    • Remain aware of who speaks and who doesn’t, of those whose pain is invisible – and what you can do about it;
    • Walk towards someone presenting a challenge to a group you are facilitating, while continuing to hold care for the entire group, and more.
  11. Fear and Trust Facing the Year Ahead

    Fear and Trust Facing the Year Ahead

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/31/2022

    In thinking about your relationship with fear and doubt, see what happens when you ask yourself "What do you trust?”. Here's an example response to that question, and how it can open new perspective, soften fear, and bring trust to new depths.

  12. Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future

    Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future

    (3 session course)

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 3 - 4 hours · 7/26/2024

    What does nonviolence have to do with group facilitation?

    Miki Kashtan believes that nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients us in all our thoughts, words and deeds toward the integration of truth, love and courage. All nonviolent individual and collective actions are aimed at preserving what serves life and challenging what does not. Facilitation is one clear path for bringing nonviolence to the world!

    How can we act now, as facilitators, as if the world of our dreams, the Beloved Community, is already in place?

  13. Growth Happens

    Growth Happens

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I  made progress on planting my vegetable garden.
  14. Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/2/2021

    Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".

  15. Universal Needs

    Universal Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/25/2022

    Trainer Tip: Every human being has the same universal needs -- even as each person may choose different strategies to meet those needs. Notice the universal needs you share with other people today.

  16. Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Catching Hearts

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/17/2017

    When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

  17. Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

    Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 9/5/2020

    In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

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