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Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

• Look at your old patterns with warmth – while also opening yourself up to change.
• Increase your self-compassion – and gain a solid ground to stand on.
• Become intimate with your own survival strategies – and those of the people you love.
• Support healing and connecting in your long-term relationships – even when it seems there is no resolution in sight!

Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.

Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.

As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.

Explore how IPNB and NVC intertwine in Somatic-Based Resonant Empathy and connection.

Hema Pokharna shares how truly becoming a healing influence in this world, requires we each be powerful in a balanced, spiritually mature and responsible way. To a large extent, we need to develop our own healthy way of being powerful, gratitiude is a key.

Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies.

• Access, follow and train your intuition: how to know without knowing;
• Navigate difficult situations with care for all through an active awareness of your own power, as well as other sources of power in the room;
• Remain aware of who speaks and who doesn’t, of those whose pain is invisible – and what you can do about it;
• Walk towards someone presenting a challenge to a group you are facilitating, while continuing to hold care for the entire group, and more.

In thinking about your relationship with fear and doubt, see what happens when you ask yourself "What do you trust?”. Here's an example response to that question, and how it can open new perspective, soften fear, and bring trust to new depths.

Bring nonviolence to life through facilitation, integrate love and courage in every group process.

Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".

Trainer Tip: Every human being has the same universal needs -- even as each person may choose different strategies to meet those needs. Notice the universal needs you share with other people today.

Dear friend,

There is an article from some years back by Dan Rather called, Why America Needs More Empathy. It touched me deeply when I first read it, and I happened to stumble upon it again recently. It feels so relevant and alive for me right now because he reminded me of what my parents taught me about helping other people.