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  1. Addressing Needs Beyond Market Economies

    Addressing Needs Beyond Market Economies

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 22 - 31 minutes · 10/14/2020

    Within the pandemic, limitations of our market economies are more visible. Extreme need is exposed when the economy is collapsing and so many people are without jobs. We can now see how it’s possible to direct resources where they are most needed, solely out of care and interconnection. This is a call to explore a more viable way of living, that centers relationship over transaction.

  2. Transforming Children's Anger

    Transforming Children's Anger

    Inbal Kashtan

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 11/29/2021

    What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.

  3. Looking at “Shoulds”

    Looking at “Shoulds”

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Audio · 22 minutes · 4/22/2024

    Using real-life examples from class participants, Sylvia Haskvitz demonstrates the life-changing results of clarifying the needs underlying "shoulds." Some of the situations covered in this audio are:

    • A grandmother shares how she was able to spend time with her grandchildren even when experiencing estrangement from her daughter
    • A father examines how to repair a conversation with his daughter
    • A woman explores her "should" thinking about her financial stability, her job and grief regarding her husband's death
    • A woman connects to her deeper needs that arise with the statement "I should do my taxes"
    • A woman perceives that she has conflicting needs for family harmony, relaxation and comfort when deciding whether to spend holiday time with stepchildren

    If your life is fraught with "shoulds," this resource will support you in translating them into needs and, in some cases, to let them go entirely.

  4. Control as a Need

    Control as a Need

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

  5. Workplace relationships are complex. Each employee brings their unique self to work. Their background, perspective, emotional triggers, and working style. Add to this the dynamics of power relations, and the fact that often workplace communication now takes place at our computer keyboards rather than face-to-face. Sylvia Haskvitz offers practical tips to make today's complex workplace relationships more satisfying and effective.

  6. Financial Freedom and Integrity

    Financial Freedom and Integrity

    (8 Session Course)

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Multi-session Course · 7 hours, 32 minutes · 9/4/2017

    Jim and Jori Manske went from poverty to financial independence in 8 years, and they’re making the process they used available to you! Please join them in this inspiring 8-session program to transform your relationship with money, scarcity and abundance.

  7. Sylvia offers practical tips to make today's complex workplace relationships more satisfying and effective.

  8. Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2014

    Trainer Tip: Clarifying our requests can make the difference between frustration and satisfaction, Mary shows you how.

  9. I have choice…

    I have choice…

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    That is my mantra this year. It came to me when I was headed somewhere to do something that I had wanted to do, and yet I was feeling annoyed about it because traffic was heavy and overwhelming. I then gave myself a few moments of self-empathy where I connected to the deeper needs that were propelling me to do the thing in the first place. In an instant, my annoyance and looming resentment slipped away and I felt happy and relaxed.
  10. Leadership Lessons from the Civil Rights Movement

    Leadership Lessons from the Civil Rights Movement

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 6 - 9 minutes · 12/15/2018

    When we have few external resources (money, time, health connections, etc), we can still empower ourselves and one another.  We can strengthen our internal resources, inspire people to join our cause, build solidarity, and influence others who have external resources to support us and our causes.

  11. There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Strategy

    There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Strategy

    Jim Manske

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 12/2/2018

    In the face of needs that are still hungry to be satisfied, we can expand our view, plus generate ideas and creativity that can find new paths forward.  Try these tips to transform our complaint into commitment for a change in strategy that works with needs...

  12. Loving Our Role as Parent

    Loving Our Role as Parent

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/4/2019

    Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.

  13. Aligning Our Strategies with Our Values

    Aligning Our Strategies with Our Values

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/19/2020

    Trainer Tip: What do you value the most? Take a look at your actions and notice the values that your actions demonstrate (not what you want them to show, but what they do show), and see if they are in alignment.   Where there is a gap take steps to create actions that are in alignment with your values.

  14. Directness

    Directness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/17/2021

    Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

  15. Sometimes I Can’t Get Past My Judgments

    Sometimes I Can’t Get Past My Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/4/2022

    Trainer Tip: Whether we listen to our own or the other person’s needs first, connecting to needs can help us release judgments of others, see their humanness, help us to begin to hear them and ultimately connect to them. Be aware today of times when you are judging someone. Then be aware of your own needs to improve your connection to them.

  16. Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/14/2023

    Trainer Tip: Punitive use of force stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they're bad, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways. One way to punish is to judge them. In contrast, protective use of force stems from a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

  17. Focusing On What You Want

    Focusing On What You Want

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/10/2023

    Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.

  18. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  19. The Lonely Trainer

    The Lonely Trainer

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 4/21/2023

    Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.

  20. Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 4 minutes · 01/01/2024

    Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”

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