
Search Results: intention
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- Explore what makes the capacity lens radical and practical
- Understand the complexities of how capacity and willingness interface
- Mourn capacity limits within and around us without jumping to conclusions
- Orient to agreements as behavioral anchoring in support of your commitments
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"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.
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Empathy is a form of attunement. Empathy is giving your compassionate curiosity by guessing another’s feelings and needs. Consider how you live or relate to each of these 12 essential aspects of empathy. Some of them mention how we can offer empathy without abandoning ourselves, how empathy isn't always the best response, and how "Empathy can be offered when you disagree with another’s opinion, memory, or perspective."
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Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.
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Have you ever had the experience of being truly heard and understood by another person? Or felt the astounding, breath-taking connection that arises when someone sheds all preconceived notions, gives you their full presence, and really sees you?
We call this The Amazing Power of Empathy – and the power does not stop there.
- Cultivate thriving interpersonal relationships
- Discover paths to move beyond anger, blame, and judgment
- Connect with the Divine essence in other people
- Experience greater ease and joy in all your interactions
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- Discover how mediation is a fundamental social skill that everyone can learn
- Gain the skills to stay centered when a conflict becomes heated
- Learn how to lead a dialogue toward sustainable agreements
- Help facilitate connection and creativity to discover and meet everyone’s needs
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CNVC Certified Trainer, Yoram Mosenzon has a vision… he sees mediation as a basic life skill that could be taught in schools starting at the age of three. He dreams of a world where all human beings have mediation skills to support understanding, cooperation, and connection when conflicts arise.
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Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And the difference it makes in healthcare.
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Finding your power in seemingly powerless situations doesn't mean denying what happened, your feelings, your needs, nor the behavior of others that didn't meet needs. It does mean reexamining those situations with the intention to compassionately look for your contribution and for clues to your hidden perceptual biases. Read on to learn about about finding these clues, and more.
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If we are to transform the existing social order, and shift to a mode of liberation for all, we'll need to look at our own participation in it. This includes how much we are able to focus on keeping our hearts open; speak to impact without attributing intention; and retain a humility that includes our systemic context. Read on for "how to" when we are in a position of less power.
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Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.
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Listen to Miki Kashtan explain the importance of intention in developing our skill at creating solutions that work for everyone. Neither fighting nor giving up are qualities of nonviolence, but rather a fierce determination to hold the needs of all parties may arise.
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Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others.
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A structured and clear contemplative practice can start with calming the body, heart, and mind for 20 minutes. Next, it contains at least three key elements: body awareness, clarifying what you already know, and consistent sustained attention. Celebrate and note insights, or any expanded perspective that pops into your awareness. Set an intention to notice these things in daily life and to practice further.
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When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.
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Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.
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While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.
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To resolve conflict, information of what's important to each party, plus corrections, needs to be included and built upon. Here we explore nine patterns of ongoing conflict, including diagnosis; assuming understanding; refuting; unhelpful communication mediums; over focus on intent over effect; and “hit-and-run” engagement. This is part one of a two part series.
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Whether privileged or not, its not easy to see the humanity of others in different social locations, especially if their actions have unwanted impacts and have left behind our humanity. Aiming for “both sides hearing each other” empathically, and to focus on effect rather than intent when we have more privilege, may theoretically lead to liberation. Yet, in practice it can reinforce rather than transcend power differences -- unless there's specific ways to focus attention and choice. Here, its important to transform expectations into working with willingness, and within our own terms and timetable.