Search the NVC Library

With worthlessness comes the idea of not belonging or not being worthy of belonging. In this context, belonging is more than an identity with a particular group. It is the sort of belonging that enables you to get other fundamental needs met, including safety, support, nourishment, and love. Unconscious attempts win worthiness and belonging often effectively blocks the very thing its pursuing. Read on for more.

The notion of "micro-aggressions" may be levied by those in the dominant class - for example white folks may talk about receiving micro-aggressions when a (legitimately) angry BIPOC references them as "white". This shuts down the conversation and feeds a myth that everyone's pain about race is equal. It doesn't foster dialogue that moves us towards a more equitable, compassionate world. Read on for more about the complexity.

When we apply and practice NVC over a number of months in an organization, it can create group norms that make learning go deep faster. These new norms can impact people's interactions with others both inside and outside of work. From here, there's potential for people to start seeing value when they share these skills and experiences. This may create a ripple effect of interest in applying NVC across different domains in life.

Trust, flow, information sharing, and learning is reduced in conflict. Conflict can indicate incapacity in at least one of five systems that every group, community, or organization needs to function. Attending to conflict at systems-level helps reduce over relying on momentary connection that isn’t anchored in decisions about what comes next. When there's enough agreed upon systems within capacity, that attend to enough kinds of situations, we're likely to have little conflict.

When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning privilege, learning about privilege, opening to feedback, and stewarding privilege for benefit of all. To be helpful we need to engage with necessary (rather than unnecessary) discomfort.

In this practice group class, certified CNVC trainers Jim and Jori Manske are facilitating the exploration of the topic of Mourning using the three modes of NVC: self-empathy, honesty and empathic presence. You'll learn how to accept a loss, let yourself feel the sadness and all the emotions, and allow yourself to grieve.

Duke Duchscherer shares what the role of the facilitator is in a restorative circle.

As human beings, our inherent goodness makes most of us believe in equality and yet sometimes our conviction in this same 'goodness' may make us blind to the reality of our own behavior. We are so convinced about the innocence of our intention that we seize to look at the impact of our behavior and thus our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged. Diversity, equity and inclusion work will only be of lip-service until we are willing to look at our own unconscious biases. Listen as Anisha Pandya encourages you to look at the possibility of how our self-awareness is so limited and one of the ways of expanding that awareness is by moving beyond our intention, looking at the impact of our behavior and remaining open to feedback.

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.

• Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
• Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
• Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
• Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
• Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future

The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

Trainer Tip: Notice if something within your agency will bring you the serenity you want. If not, then notice the needs you are trying to meet by wanting to take that action. Then then choose another action that's more likely to have the desired effect.

Join Roxy Manning for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect people of color.

Join Dian Killian and Mary Mackenzie for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect women.

Join Alan Seid for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect men.

Join Jeff Brown for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege white people.

According to this article, what we do before we move into the NVC dance profoundly influences the outcome and everyone involved.  This "before" step increases the likelihood of living compassionately, and our support openness to outcome.  It can also make our NVC practice less connecting, and more evaluative.  The article addresses these points and talks about ways to move beyond the dead past, and the imagined future, to step into the the only “time and place” that both NVC operates and that the connection we so fervently want actually exists (ie. the present moment).