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Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process more. Read on for an example.

Trainer Tip: Even when it's tempting to coerce or match might with might, we can strive to meet our needs without negatively affecting others. Instead of convincing anyone to do it our way or to value the same things we value, we can focus on what we value: compassion among people and valuing everyone’s needs. By doing this we are actually more likely to meet our own needs and we are better able to live peacefully.

Speaking the truth creates congruence, which creates trust, facilitating understanding and cooperation. Without truth there is no growth in our relationships and community. If this is true, then what keeps us from speaking our truth?

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Jerry Koch-Gonzalez, Greg Rouillard and Certified Dynamic Governance (Sociocracy) Consultant John Buck for this six-session course recording to learn how to transform your method of meeting facilitation. Many NVC organizations have begun using sociocratic tools, including circle meetings and decision making by consent, with satisfying results.

Trainer Tip: Strive for win-win resolutions where no one loses. Try this rather than deciding things by the majority or compromise, where one or more parties feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it involves an element of giving in. An alternative is shifting; both people connect to the needs they are trying to meet, and in doing so, one person makes an honest shift to contribute to the other person’s needs and life.

Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.

In a workshop, a hesitant white neurodivergent man faced a triggering reaction from a Global Majority transgender man. Uncovering their backgrounds, the facilitator addressed family dynamics and exclusion. A repair exercise fostered empathy, challenging assumptions and emphasizing the importance of equitable facilitation for a richer group experience.

Trainer Tip: While everyone's feelings are a result of their own met or unmet needs it's still important that we take responsibility for our actions. This means acknowledging when our behaviors are a stimulus for another's pain, and expressing regret -- to support our own needs for care and consideration. In the process, taking responsibility where it's due in this way can enhance and deepen our relationships.

• Discover how Spiral Dynamics can offer more understanding of human nature
• Learn from a Ukrainian NVC trainer and Spiral Dynamics experts
• Better grasp the evolution of human needs, values, and life conditions
• Explore how to apply NVC in situations that involve extreme violence

Trainer Tip: We can expand our connection to humanity by considering the many strategies people use to meet our common needs.

• Understand the dynamics of power struggles
• Explore practical strategies for navigating power imbalances
• Discover ways you can share power in various relationships
• Explore how NVC supports a move away from domination, into shared power

Hello,

I’m Iris Bawidamann. When Mary reached out to me asking if I’d write this letter, I sat for some time meditating on what is alive for me and what I want to share with you… This is what surfaced for me… Fear sits with me—on my shoulders, in my chest. A familiar presence I consciously keep in check so it doesn’t take over. Watching global politics, conflicts, and rising polarization, I often feel overwhelmed. The world is shifting.

• Learn your body’s “language” and how to listen deeply to it
• Expand your NVC toolbox with emergency self-empathy tips
• Explore drawing on your senses to get past what is blocking you
• Discover and practice that “missing step” in the NVC process

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion.