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  1. Persisting vs. Demanding

    Persisting vs. Demanding

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/21/2014

    Trainer Tip: Persisting without demanding is the art of what Marshall Rosenberg fondly called "Dogging for our needs." We can learn to not give up on our needs and at the same time, refrain from demanding they be met.

  2. Choice in the Face of Demands

    Choice in the Face of Demands

    Arnina Kashtan

    Audio · 1 hour, 8 minutes · 7/29/2010

    No one likes demands. Do you want to have access to choice when requests or demands come your way? Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she provides tools to free yourself from the submit/rebel dynamic.

  3. Making Demands

    Making Demands

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/19/2021

    When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

  4. Demands vs Requests

    Demands vs Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/4/2020

    Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

  5. Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.

  6. Making Empowering Requests (Not Demands)

    Making Empowering Requests (Not Demands)

    Katrina Vaillancourt

    NVC Library · 1-2 minutes · 6/28/2024

    Use this worksheet to check to see if you’re making a request, rather than a demand. Clarify and connect your request to your needs. Check your motivations. Use a phrase, question, or empathy guess to connect to the person if they say “no”. See sample requests for actions, offers, and for deepening understanding.

  7. Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 10 minutes · 07/18/2021

    Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

  8. demand

    System Administrator

    · 7 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

  9. Choice in Every Moment

    Choice in Every Moment

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 31 minutes · 7/28/2010

    This 31-minute audio with Miki Kashtan is packed full of power as she uncovers the dynamics of choice that are present 100% of the time, in every situation, regardless of the circumstances.

  10. When Hearing A “No”

    When Hearing A “No”

    Demanding Versus Persisting

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/20/2021

    Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.

  11. Iris Bawidamann explains how needs, like appreciation, can easily turn into demands or self-blame when approached from a place of lack or expectation. This practice is based on the work of Living Compassion, shared by Robert Gonzales, focusing on the beauty of needs and the living energy of needs
  12. Life-Alienating Communication

    Life-Alienating Communication

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/6/2021

    Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

  13. Mary Mackenzie shares how Marshall Rosenberg's Four D's of Disconnection live in her. Join Mary and learn how you can reframe the 4 D's to enhance connection.

  14. Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship

    Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship

    (4 Session Course)

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 4 - 6 hours · 10/27/2019

    Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach harmony.

  15. When It’s Hard For Us To Express Our Needs

    When It’s Hard For Us To Express Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/20/2023

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes the expression of our needs can sound like demands or criticism. This can make it harder for people to want to contribute to us. Today, pay attention to how you express your needs. Find ways to release the emotional charge.

  16. Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/12/2023

    When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

  17. Emotionally Exhausted? Try Empathy

    Emotionally Exhausted? Try Empathy

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 4/3/2019

    Living in this ceaselessly demanding world, how do we recover from emotional exhaustion? The hopelessness of not being met in the world can leave us wrung out like an old mop. Our heart rate plummets, our blood pressure and respiration drop, and energy and information processing start slogging along. Instead, we can build the bridge of empathy for greater rejuvenation.

  18. Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication.

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