Image

Search the NVC Library

Search Results: cause

Advanced Search
  1. Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.

  2. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  3. Colloquial NVC Options

    Colloquial NVC Options

    Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 5 - 8 minutes · 9/10/2024

    How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.
  4. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  5. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

  6. Transforming Painful Patterns

    Transforming Painful Patterns

    Arnina Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 7 pages · 7/29/2010

    Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

  7. Communicating with Children

    Communicating with Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/8/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

  8. The Long-Short Way, And The Short-Long Way

    The Long-Short Way, And The Short-Long Way

    Alan Rafael Seid

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/10/2022

    Some things may seem to take longer at first, but end up making things easier and faster. Other things seem easier or faster in the short term, but end up taking more time in the long run. This applies to projects, group agreements about process, relationships, addressing conflicts, clearing up misunderstandings, damage control, etc. It can be faster to slow down, be more present, and take the time since we care about the outcome.

  9. Mediating Conflicts

    Mediating Conflicts

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2019

    Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

  10. Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/19/2022

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

  11. Striving for Win-Win Resolutions

    Striving for Win-Win Resolutions

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/15/2022

    Trainer Tip: Strive for win-win resolutions where no one loses. Try this rather than deciding things by the majority or compromise, where one or more parties feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it involves an element of giving in. An alternative is shifting; both people connect to the needs they are trying to meet, and in doing so, one person makes an honest shift to contribute to the other person’s needs and life.

  12. Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/19/2023

    This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.

  13. Control as a Need

    Control as a Need

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

  14. Avoiding “Right Fights”

    Avoiding “Right Fights”

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/5/2014

    Trainer Tip: Ready to start a fight because you're right? Consider another strategy.

  15. Moralistic Judgments

    Moralistic Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/10/2020

    Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

  16. Connection, Connection, Connection

    Connection, Connection, Connection

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/22/2020

    Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

  17. Letting People Support Us

    Letting People Support Us

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/3/2021

    We all love to contribute to others’ lives. We love to offer support because it meets our own needs for contribution, love, caring, and making a difference. For today, admit that you love to support other people, and that you would like support yourself. Let at least one person contribute to your life today. Read on for a related story.

  18. Denying Our Needs

    Denying Our Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/17/2023

    Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and to work actively to meet your needs.

  19. Do you just keep going with a task, even if your body is screaming for a pause? Maybe you leave tasks incomplete because you can't finish them the way you want? Do you not even attempt some tasks because you know that you won't be able to do them perfectly? In short, are you a perfectionist? In this Life Hack, we look at 5 tips to help any recovering perfectionists.

  20. When Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Our Honesty

    When Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Our Honesty

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we withhold our truth or lie, we can create emotional and physical distance in our relationships. By being honest, we can strengthen relationships. And when someone doesn’t appreciate your honesty, try empathizing with them. It can help to notice how your actions stimulate feelings in other people -- even as they are not the cause of their feelings.

NVCAcademy Logo

Subscription Preferences

Stay In Touch!

Looking for ways to keep up with NVC Academy news, get special offers, free resources, or words of inspiration? Here are five ways to stay engaged: