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  1. Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

    Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/5/2020

    Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

  2. Using Anger to Serve Life

    Using Anger to Serve Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/29/2020

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

  3. The Jackal as a Teacher

    The Jackal as a Teacher

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/26/2020

    Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.

  4. Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/4/2020

    Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

  5. Evaluations vs. Feelings

    Evaluations vs. Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/11/2020

    Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

  6. Life-Alienating Communication

    Life-Alienating Communication

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/6/2021

    Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

  7. Being the Change We Seek

    Being the Change We Seek

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/3/2021

    Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

  8. Love Trumps Everything

    Love Trumps Everything

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/30/2021

    Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

  9. When We Need Empathy the Most

    When We Need Empathy the Most

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/10/2021

    Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

  10. Restoring Togetherness

    Restoring Togetherness

    Miki Kashtan

    Live Zoom Course · ·

    • Support family, community, and organizations to realign with life
    • Get the building blocks of integrative decisions that work for all
    • Learn to lean on all available capacities to dance together for liberation
    • Reweave the threads of togetherness into something stronger than individual existence
  11. How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

  12. Celebrate Your Progress!

    Celebrate Your Progress!

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/1/2022

    Trainer Tip: Overwhelmed with all that you want to do? If so, what are you working to change? Is it a behavior or a consciousness? Where were you with this issue when you first decided to create change? And now where are you? Celebrating your progress can encourage you to keep trying. You wouldn’t expect to jump on a treadmill and jog three miles the first time. Don't have the same expectations for your emotional fitness either!

  13. Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

    Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/14/2022

    Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

  14. The Importance of Making Requests

    The Importance of Making Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/8/2022

    Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

  15. Heaven And Hell

    Heaven And Hell

    Alan Rafael Seid

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/3/2022

    Read this short Japanese parable that symbolically illustrates the outcomes of having a competitive mindset – in contrast to an interdependent, collaborative one where everyone wins. It’s a story that encapsulates part of the spirit of NVC.

    • Tune into your self-dialogue with a compassion that supports loving presence
    • Shift limiting beliefs about your parenting patterns so you can choose consciously
    • Transform frustration, confusion, or guilt into constructive, honest discussions
    • Foster your ability to say yes and no in a way that supports your natural limits
    • Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
    • Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
    • Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
    • Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
    • Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future
  16. Empathy For Children

    Empathy For Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/1/2023

    Trainer Tip: The better you connect with your child’s needs, the more you will defuse the power struggle. If he wants to behave in a way you don't like, start by understanding what's going on with him by making empathic guesses. Doing this out loud can expand your child’s emotional vocabulary and show that his needs matter to you, and build his trust. Once you learn what's going on with him, create a strategy that values both your needs.

  17. The Presence Of Hearing Someone Deeply

    The Presence Of Hearing Someone Deeply

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/16/2023

    Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.

  18. A Hunger For Appreciation

    A Hunger For Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2023

    Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.

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