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  1. Intention and Effect

    Intention and Effect

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 8/9/2020

    When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

  2. The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

  3. The Nature of Your Reactions

    The Nature of Your Reactions

    Robert Gonzales

    Video · 3 minutes · 04/22/2022

    Responding to your own reactivity is an inside job. Robert reveals how your reactions are often a secondary reaction to a triggering stimulus, and that accepting responsibility for your reactions can lead to less blame and more inner peace.

  4. The Importance of Anger

    The Importance of Anger

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 6/14/2022

    Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look for feelings and needs underneath it.

  5. What’s an Anchor and How do You Use It?

    What’s an Anchor and How do You Use It?

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/26/2024

    An anchor is something you turn your attention toward in order to interrupt reactivity and access a non-reactive, expansive perspective. Though it doesn't make the reactivity go away, it allow you the internal space to choose to not behave from reactivity. In this practice exercise learn more about anchors, plus how to create and use them.

  6. Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal

    Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/4/2015

    Trainer Tip: We can improve our relationships by focusing our attention first on connection instead of other stragegies.

  7. Using Anger as a Beacon

    Using Anger as a Beacon

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/23/2015

    Trainer Tip: Anger is a prominent call to gain our attention. Mary explains why it's worth heeding that call.

  8. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  9. Confidentiality Agreement

    Confidentiality Agreement

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

  10. Self-Empathy

    Self-Empathy

    A Unique Approach

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Video · 22 minutes · 07/28/2010

    Watch this video with CNVC Certified Trainer Jim Manske to explore the practice of Self-Empathy through a different lens.  Included is a unique four-step Self-Empathy process that culminates in a focus of gratitude.

  11. In our fast-paced, busy lives it is tempting to practice NVC mostly with the left hemisphere of the brain, thinking through the steps quickly without slowing down to connect more deeply with feelings and needs.  Don't miss an opportunity to integrate the hemispheres of the brain and the valuable information from the neural networks in the heart and gut.

  12. Living NVC

    Living NVC

    NVC Academy

    Self-paced Courses · ·

    • Integrate the underlying principles of NVC into your daily life
    • Create a daily practice of self empathy and connecting to needs
    • Strengthen your own personalized set of NVC skills
    • Increase your sense of power in the world
    • Deepen connection with yourself and those in your life
  13. How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

  14. Eric offers us a list of some of his favorite books, articles, and videos related to building successful relationships.

  15. Longing For The Company Of Not-Knowers

    Longing For The Company Of Not-Knowers

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/21/2023

    How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

  16. Contact Melissa

    Melissa .

    Author Support · ·

  17. Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

  18. Hidden Needs

    Hidden Needs

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

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