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Trainer Tip: Knowing the difference between what we need and what we want someone else to do about that need can have a profound impact on our relationships and our happiness.

We can see anger as an alarm or signal that can inform us that unmet needs require attention, or that we hold judgements. We can shift our own anger in several healthy ways: get present, identify the stimulus and any judgements or unmet needs, look for ways to meet our needs, make requests that support our needs, express our needs to ourselves and appropriate others, and more.

Trainer Tip: Even when it's tempting to coerce or match might with might, we can strive to meet our needs without negatively affecting others. Instead of convincing anyone to do it our way or to value the same things we value, we can focus on what we value: compassion among people and valuing everyone’s needs. By doing this we are actually more likely to meet our own needs and we are better...

Eric explains how we can often avoid regret by getting empathy before making important decisions.

Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a caller who outlines a conflict between two people who are crucial to the cohesiveness of a dance troupe and asks, “What do you do when you see a conflict between two people in a group, when you are not directly involved?” Miki starts by acknowledging the challenge of...

No one likes demands. Do you want to have access to choice when requests or demands come your way? Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she provides tools to free yourself from the submit/rebel dynamic.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Sometimes I wish others would make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so hard at doing mine. Can you relate? However, if I support peace in the world, this means I act peacefully because it’s important to me, not because it’s important to others. Identify your most important value today. Then live it. Notice how...

This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without...

When your dedication to something is fueled by a profound intention to benefit all life, you may call it your spiritual practice. This means cultivating compassion, wisdom, and skills to notice what truly serves life. Its a discovery and experiment in what does and doesn't serve life, and what you can do now - its not about what you believe or not. Continuously inquire: "What most deeply serves...

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Article

5 - 7 minutes

By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or...

Some of my core beliefs make experiencing gratitude difficult . For example, it’s difficult to celebrate others or myself when I think I have to prove my worth in order to be accepted. So much energy goes into proving myself, there’s little left for celebration.

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share how we are conditioned to disconnect from our own feelings and how we can unlearn this habit to experience more full and rich inner lives.

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Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Let's start an abundance movement! We get great joy from contributing to others lives and allowing them to contribute to ours, let's not let fear get in the way.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on.

Trainer Tip: Could you tell me something I do that meets your need for love?

Trainer Tip: When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself.

CNVC Certified Trainer Gina Cenciose guides listeners through a 20-minute guided self-empathy meditation.

Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.