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NVC Resources on Connection

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Meeting Our Need for Sexual Expression

might not be an effective way to start the conversation. Consider saying to her: “I’ve noticed that the last few times we have made love, you have not seemed as present as usual. I miss the connection we have when we are both present and enjoying our lovemaking. Have you also enjoyed that connection?”v This acknowledges what you have enjoyed about your love life in the past and also gives her a...
How Anger Can Help or Hinder

make a request for a change. That is, you might set a boundary and then invite them to brainstorm with you and find creative ideas for how to navigate challenging situations with more skill and connection. Thoughts that fan the flame of anger are like a child having a tantrum. Children have tantrums because they can't yet accept that reality is different than they expect or would like. Like...
Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Trainer Tip Empathize with silence by listening to the feelings and needs behind it./em> —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D....
My Group is in Conflict, I Want It to Stop

Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a caller who outlines a conflict between two people who are crucial to the cohesiveness of a dance troupe and asks, “What do you do when you see a conflict between two people in a group, when you are not directly involved?” Miki starts by acknowledging the challenge of...
On Love and Empathy

Ask the Trainer: Is there any difference between the concept or experience of "love" and that of "empathy?"
Punishment, Needs and the Protective Use of Force

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...
How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling, and not aligned with the principles of Nonviolent Communication. Recently I requested that he not use the term “NVC” in sending out emails about our practice meetings, citing the guidelines...
Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

Trainer Tip Stand up and play the melody. I am God. —Rumi So you finally figured out how to live authentically. That is, you are more likely to do things because they meet your needs than because you think other people want you to. What a relief! You might also feel some frustration because the people in your life are still trying to figure you out, rather than making decisions that meet their...
Confidentiality Agreement

to use “common consideration” (whatever that means). Another person said that common consideration would not meet her needs and made a request that other members of the group not use her name in connection with information that she might share in the group. When asked what needs of hers were behind this request, she said trust and security. In response, one of the members said he felt angry when...
Navigating Polarizing Conversations

do not know how to navigate effectively? Does it sometimes seem that the other person wants to argue? Do you long to connect in ways that can meet more needs at less cost to your well-being and connections? We are living in challenging times with varying opinions about what we "should be doing." Watch this video to: Get clear on what really matters Understand being heard and hearing others in...