NVC Library Search:
vulnerability
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- Uncover the expansive possibilities of Nonviolent Communication in growing compassion for a more empathic world
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Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.
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Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.
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In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for more.
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CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan helps a man whose ex-spouse reacted strongly to his attempt at empathizing with her. Miki shows us how it’s possible to hide behind our empathic expression, creating less rather than more connection. She suggests instead that we be vulnerably authentic.
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Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.
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- Welcome unpleasant feelings and meet their flow in and around the body
- Discover how you can enjoy Anger as a beautiful life force
- Realize insecurity and depression as a door to the core of your humanity
- Know how to use fear to firmly connect to your life and strength
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- Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
- Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
- Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
- Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
- Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future
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Alarm Feelings
Anger, Guilt, Shame and Shut Down
Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.
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If you want a better connection it's crucial to be mindful about how your communication affects your partner. This means noticing and keeping eye contact, observing body language, and checking for their reactions. You can also share in small increments, check in before sharing vulnerable thoughts, and express what you notice. Give yourself empathy when you notice that you want to be right more than you’re wanting to be connected.