NVC Library Search:
thinking
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In June, 1996, I had an epiphany. In a motel room in Indiana, the night before returning home from a solo camping trip in Michigan and Canada, I discovered how much I had lost in my life because of so fiercely protecting myself. Up until that day, bringing forth my vulnerable self was to be avoided at all costs, which kept me numb much of the time, disconnected from myself and from much of life. Alone in my room, I cried, I talked out loud, and I finally exclaimed to myself that I wanted to reclaim every last bit of my vulnerability, just like I had it as a child.
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Fearless Loving and Living
(4 Session Course)
Kelly Bryson, veteran and loved CNVC Certified Trainer, brings decades of experience to help you jumpstart your Mastery of Fear by using his unusual blend of experiential exercises, humor, empathy, original songs and stories, transformational truth telling, creativity and FRED (Frequency Resonation Energy Dynamics). -
How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.
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Transforming Anger
The Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral
Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.
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Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on.
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Trainer Tip: NVC asks us to be aware of our needs and discomfort is evidence of an unment need. However focusing on ourselves when we're uncomfortable isn't always the best choice.
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Trainer Tip: We can expand our connection to humanity by considering the many strategies people use to meet our common needs.
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I greatly enjoyed my New Year’s Peace Meditation yesterday as it brings together NVC enthusiasts from across the world. It is one of my favorite traditions for welcoming the New Year!
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I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I made progress on planting my vegetable garden.
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I ended last month’s Growing Roots letter with a question to you: “Do you remember that you are a gift?” I hope you had moments throughout July that reminded you of this! I am still thinking about it, actually.
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Living the Self-in-Life
Presence and Self-Compassion
During this very moving session, you'll dive into Robert's exercises for supporting connection to your true self as opposed to your conditioned self.
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Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward. She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).
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Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.
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Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.
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Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.
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Trainer Tip: When we create situations that value one person’s needs at the expense of another, we open the door for someone to lose. Instead, look to see if you can speak openly and honestly, value the other person’s needs, and create solutions that value all stakeholder needs.
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Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.
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Trainer tip: Read on for the three stages of emotional maturity. In the third stage, we integrate the first two stages. We come to realize that everyone is responsible for their own feelings, but we also recognize our role if we do something that stimulates pain in another person. We also start to value the needs of everyone, rather than just one party's needs over the other.
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Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.
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We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.