Image

Search the NVC Library

NVC Library Search:
thinking

    • Discover what is yours to do in response to our growing global crises
    • Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
    • Receive ongoing support within and beyond the course in how to be effective and alive while doing what’s yours to do
    • Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
    • Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future
  1. Inbal clarifies the difference between needs and strategies, and why the distinction is important in our parenting role. She offers two questions to ask yourself if you're not certain whether something is a need or strategy.

  2. It is the first day of December and it seems to me as if 2023 went by with a flash. I have felt deep despair about the growing division between people and the devastating impact it has had on human beings, all life in fact, including our planet. And, I have also experienced many moments of joy and satisfaction this year.
  3. If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

    If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/25/2017

    Trainer Tip: Have you heard the saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Communication is like that too. Don’t try to adjust your communication and behaviors if they already work for you.

  4. Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

    Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/4/2019

    Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.

  5. Observing without Judgment

    Observing without Judgment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/19/2019

    Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.

  6. The Jackal as a Teacher

    The Jackal as a Teacher

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/26/2020

    Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.

  7. Empathy, a Potent Healer

    Empathy, a Potent Healer

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/13/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy, hearing feelings and needs behind someone’s words, can be incredibly healing -- and it can help us come to better understanding and resolution. Empathize with at least on person today. Read on for an example of applied empathy.

  8. Demands vs Requests

    Demands vs Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/4/2020

    Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

  9. Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/24/2021

    Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

  10. Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

    Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/23/2021

    Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

  11. The Value of Just Being

    The Value of Just Being

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · N/A · 8/28/2021

    When it comes to how you're achieving your goals, notice what you value. Is achievement coming at others' expense? Where is your sense of worth and validation derived from? Do other people in some way set the bar that you strive to surpass? Without comparing to other people, what does success mean to you? Read on for a related story.

  12. How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

  13. Focusing on Where We Are the Same

    Focusing on Where We Are the Same

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/2/2021

    Trainer Tip: Our differences are not in our needs, but in how we attempt to meet them. This simple truth can help you lessen the conflicts in your life and your judgments of other people. Rather than focus on where you disagree, focus on where you are the same. This shift can make a profound difference in your ability to understand yourself and other people, and to bring unity to your life.

  14. The Value of Change

    The Value of Change

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/29/2021

    Trainer Tip: Wanting collaboration? Show you value the other person's needs as much as your own. After you both feel heard, you can make joint decisions about specifics of the agreement, such as "division of work", "scope of project", "when the action will take place", "how it'll be done" and "timing of follow up to see how things went". Read on for an example of how this is applied to asking someone to pitch in with doing chores.

  15. Creating More Efficient Meetings

    Creating More Efficient Meetings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/22/2022

    Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process more. Read on for an example.

  16. Trainer Tip: Even when it's tempting to coerce or match might with might, we can strive to meet our needs without negatively affecting others. Instead of convincing anyone to do it our way or to value the same things we value, we can focus on what we value: compassion among people and valuing everyone’s needs. By doing this we are actually more likely to meet our own needs and we are better able to live peacefully.

  17. Creating Productive Group Gatherings

    Creating Productive Group Gatherings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/19/2023

    Trainer Tip: In an efficient group process, clarity is key. Try to only say things if you are clear what you want back from the group. Then ask for what you want so people don’t have to figure it out for you. If someone says something and you’re not sure what he wants back from the group, anyone can assist by saying this: “I’m confused about what you would like from us. Would you help us clarify what kind of a response you’re looking for?”

  18. I See the Spirit in You

    I See the Spirit in You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/26/23

    Trainer Tip: We can voice our upset about a situation and still see the higher self in the other person. Honest expression can deepen connection and bring us closer to resolution and connection, when we're not judging them. To know that they're a spiritual being, but think they're an insensitive slob or egotistical bore, is a contradiction. Instead, look for the needs they want to meet. See the spiritual being in everyone—even yourself.

  19. Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/6/2024

    Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

NVCAcademy Logo

Subscription Preferences

Stay In Touch!

Looking for ways to keep up with NVC Academy news, get special offers, free resources, or words of inspiration? Here are five ways to stay engaged: