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  1. Letting Go of Resentments

    Letting Go of Resentments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/23/2022

    Trainer Tip: When we feel resentment toward others, we are harming our own emotional health. Surprisingly, when we own up to our part of an uncomfortable situation, we can release the pain and resentment. Such honesty can provide healing. Read on for a related anecdote of how this can play out.

  2. Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Past Stories, Present Feelings

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

  3. Staying in the Present

    Staying in the Present

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/5/2021

    Trainer Tip: Usually if we are in anguish, it’s because we’re not in the present. Instead of worrying, look to see if there is an action you can take in the present moment that will help change the situation. If you're fretting about the past, see if there's anything you can do to rectify the situation. Then take action. Read on for examples.

  4. Staying Present in the Face of Conflict

    Staying Present in the Face of Conflict

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.

  5. How to present "harm being done" in an NVC way

    How to present "harm being done" in an NVC way

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 1 minute 19 second · 01/28/2023

    Certified CNVC trainer Roxy Manning, Phd, answers a question: how do we use the term "harm" in NVC? Think of the word "harm" as an unmet need, practice observation to identify the need or needs that are not met.

  6. This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”
  7. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  8. Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/26/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

  9. Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

    Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 11 minutes · 8/12/2020

    When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.

  10. Clarity, Compassion and Empowerment

    Clarity, Compassion and Empowerment

    (6 Session Course)

    Robert Gonzales

    Multi-session Course · 7 - 10 hours · 4/6/2019

    Living Compassion, for Robert, represents the spirituality that resides in every aspect of Nonviolent Communication. Its foundational principles are represented by three primary qualities or states of being: clarity, compassion and empowerment.

    In this course you’ll explore – and practice – how the unfolding of inner clarity opens your way to compassion, which further unfolds into empowerment. Throughout this unfolding process, Robert will include maps and tips for shifting your everyday life from one that is relatively limiting to a life that is both transformative, healing and liberating.

  11. How to Express Feelings

    How to Express Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/22/2020

    Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

  12. Let it RAIN!

    Let it RAIN!

    Jim Manske

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 1/21/2019

    This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.

  13. Social Dynamics During the Holidays

    Social Dynamics During the Holidays

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/4/2019

    During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

  14. Self-Righteous Anger

    Self-Righteous Anger

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/31/2017

    Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed that some of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel.

  15. Engage Your Curiosity

    Engage Your Curiosity

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/8/2019

    Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.

  16. How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 2 - 4 minutes · 7/29/2021

    Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.

  17. Enemy Images

    Enemy Images

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/23/2020

    Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

  18. The NVC Model

    The NVC Model

    A Map to Your Intentions

    Dian Killian

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 3/16/2019

    The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...

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