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  1. Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

    Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/4/2020

    Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.

  2. The Four D's of Disconnection

    The Four D's of Disconnection

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Learning Tools · 5 -7 minutes · 10/12/2014

    Learn to recognize four forms of thinking and speaking that are likely to lead to disconnection.
  3. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  4. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

  5. Protective Use of Force

    Protective Use of Force

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/13/2014

    Trainer Tip: Mary explains the NVC principle known as the "protective use of force."

    • Discover how to be radically honest without pushing “the other” away
    • Learn to ask firmly and gracefully for what you want, hear ‘NO,’ and stay alive
    • Explore how the power of empathy dissolves anger, pain, and fear
    • Discern the essence of what others say, no matter how it is expressed
  6. Love Trumps Everything

    Love Trumps Everything

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/30/2021

    Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

  7. Bystander Intervention

    Bystander Intervention

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 2 - 3 minutes · 6/16/2023

    Often, people don't help others when others are in danger, whether it is a parent who is abusing a child, a man who is battering his wife, someone sexually harassing another, a bully making fun of someone, or a person who is abusing a pet. However, intervening can save lives. And bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world.

  8. Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

    Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 2 - 5 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Often when someone else does something we don't like, it's easy to blame the other person. After all, we have all been trained to focus on fault when needs are not met. What can we do to shift that pattern?

  9. Tips for the Road Series Tip 4

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 4

    Invite People to Say No

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/12/2016

    When asking for support from another, you are most likely to enjoy receiving that support when the person giving support is giving from the heart—from a place of joy or delight. Inviting them to say "no" is a way of encouraging an authentic response, a response you can trust more fully.

  10. Healing and Reconciliation

    Healing and Reconciliation

    (7 Session Course)

    Ike Lasater, John Kinyon

    Multi-session Course · 7 - 9 hours · 5/21/2019

    Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?

  11. Life-Alienating Communication

    Life-Alienating Communication

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/6/2021

    Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

  12. Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/19/2023

    This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.

  13. Parenting for Connection

    Parenting for Connection

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 10/05/2023

    By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

  14. Join Aya Caspi, a Certified NVC Trainer, as she delves into the difficult topic of parenting, childhood trauma, and social status. She discusses the generational impact of being labeled by society as "less than" or subservient. The wounds of childhood trauma can be healed so they no longer are a means of control by a dominant culture.

  15. Becoming Allies for Our Kids

    Becoming Allies for Our Kids

    Aya Caspi

    Video · 6 minutes · 03/18/2024

    Aya Caspi, a Certified NVC Trainer discusses how the "story" we tell ourselves about human nature impacts our childhood and the roles we are taught to play in society.

  16. Enemy Images Process and Exercise

    Enemy Images Process and Exercise

    Jeff Brown

    Practice Exercises · N/A · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

  17. The Sweetest Game in Town

    The Sweetest Game in Town

    Contributing Without Praise

    Inbal Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

  18. Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

    Catching Hearts

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/17/2017

    When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

  19. Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Learning Tools · 8 - 10 minutesd · 7/29/2010

    NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
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