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  1. If we are in the dominant group, intervening to prevent violence or an "ouch" is a way to ally with marginalized folks. We can intervene to meet their needs, rather than our own. In other words, we can intervene without putting our experience at center stage. To that end, here are six ways to ask if an intervention is welcome.

  2. Abundance, Needs, Inequality and Privilege

    Abundance, Needs, Inequality and Privilege

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 16 - 24 minutes · 11/1/2023

    Instead of allocating resources based on needs, we cling to having more money or privilege than others because its close enough substitute for our deeper longing. We may cling to narratives that seem to legitimize this inequality as something we deserved -- such as earning it; having more talent or ability; or needing more for company growth. This soothes our discomfort of having more than others. But these narratives still block us from genuinely getting in touch with the needs of life.

  3. We can create processes that encourage resources (particularly money) to flow to where they are most needed. Engaging in "money piles" is one new way that can refocus conversations on real, practical problems to solve -- rather than ideological or abstract discussions about who "earned", "deserved", worked "harder", or merits more. It can tilt conversations based on transaction and obligation towards care and relationship. Read on for three examples that further illustrate how this new way of operating may even bring us closer to the type of world we all want to live in.

  4. Money and the Web of Love

    Money and the Web of Love

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 14 minutes · 9/10/2023

    Our ability to reduce our reliance on money, or even exit the logic of money and exchange in our own thinking, is limited by the degree of trust we have that our needs will be met without it. The more we can enter into sufficient trust, the more we can enter into a web of sharing resources -- borne from a place of love. Read on for more.

  5. Holding Dilemmas Together in the Workplace

    Holding Dilemmas Together in the Workplace

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 11 - 16 minutes · 12/11/2019

    When we are transparent about our concerns, brainstorm solutions together, and look towards making a decision with the other person, we can increase understanding, partnership, and mutual support. This invites people to work on the same issue from the same direction, collaboratively seek solutions, and tap a deeper wisdom. In the end, the future survival of our species depends on this kind of active interdependence.

  6. When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

  7. Responding to Opportunity in Extreme Times

    Responding to Opportunity in Extreme Times

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 - 18 minutes · 4/20/2020

    This pandemic is an immense opportunity, and a dire catastrophe in the making. It’s a crisis within many planetary crises — during which, our habits as individuals, and as a collective, are challenged because they don’t sustain us. Now we are pushed to respond freshly and join forces in ways that seemed impossible before.

  8. How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look like from this lens.

  9. When supporting someone with less privilege, first check with them how you can support.  If you're reacting more strongly to their undesirable experience than they are, this then shifts the dynamic so that they're setting aside what they want to attend to your feelings and needs - this may become work that they didn't sign up for.  Read on for what to do instead to support more equity.

  10. Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

    Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

    Eddie Zacapa

    Trainer Tips · 3 - 5 minutes · 1/3/2021

    This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.

  11. Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

    Inbal Kashtan, Miki Kashtan

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/29/2022

    For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.

  12. From Domination to Partnership

    From Domination to Partnership

    Kirsten Kristensen

    Video · 1 hour, 15 minutes · 04/04/2022

    How can we create a partnership and eye-level dialog with people who we perceive to have more power? In this session, we will create a practice of humanizing ourselves and others through empathy, practicing scary honesty, and making requests that serve both persons’ needs

  13. Boundaries

    Boundaries

    The Journey To Being Able To Say "No"

    Elia Paz

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 11/5/2022

    Struggling to say "no"? Here are ways you change your adjacent mind patterns. First, note the differences between those who respect boundaries and those who often don't. Second, review situations in which you lost track of your choice. And rehearse what it would sound, look, and feel like if you kept connection to your choice. Third, seek validation of your experience - from a grounded and mindful (non-reactive) state.

  14. When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning privilege, learning about privilege, opening to feedback, and stewarding privilege for benefit of all. To be helpful we need to engage with necessary (rather than unnecessary) discomfort.

  15. The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 1/20/2023

    The word "privilege" signifies the benefit to the person having it, and the relationship between that person’s benefit and others' lack of benefit. When privileged, there are incentives to not see this interdependent link. For instance, it's easier for the wealthy to think of the poverty of many and the wealth of some are unrelated. If the wealthy want to keep wealth they would need to continue with approaches rooted in this separation.

  16. Safe Spaces and Confidentiality Agreements

    Safe Spaces and Confidentiality Agreements

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 4 minutes 7 seconds · 02/16/2023

    Certified CNVC trainer Roxy Manning, Phd, answers a question: how to create a safe space for a first time group working on power and privileges ?

  17. #MeToo And Liberation For All

    #MeToo And Liberation For All

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 12 -18 minutes · 2/1/2023

    Most people want to punish perpetrators of sexual violence. Unfortunately, punishment doesn’t lead to lasting widespread change. Rather, we can identify root causes and conditions that sustain violence. That means shifting from individual to systemic lenses, and from punitive to restorative responses. It means collective learning about how such acts are nurtured and persist. This can reduce the chance of it happening again.

  18. You Ask too Many Questions!!

    You Ask too Many Questions!!

    Rachelle Lamb

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 2/1/2024

    Reveal what's in your heart before asking a question to help build trust, especially if you're in an authority figure. Otherwise, your question may sound like a demand, blame, trap, intrusion or accusation, and it may elicit a defensive response. If you get a "question" like that, give them empathy. Read on for reflection questions to see how our revealing and our withholding impacts our relationships with others and with ourselves.

  19. The Unconquerable Virus Of Cult

    The Unconquerable Virus Of Cult

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 8 - 12 minutes · 02/16/2024

    Even groups and organizations with noblest visions can slide into cult-like swamps. The reasons that bring people together are irrelevant; whether it's politics, spirituality, activism, art… a hidden hierarchy, plus dominance and submission dynamic can sprout, and beliefs that “we, our leader, and our path is better than others, we have all the answers”. As a member it can be hard to see. Here are signs of cult mentality and ways to assess.

  20. How Submission and Rebellion Erode Goodwill

    How Submission and Rebellion Erode Goodwill

    Rachelle Lamb

    Video · 5:18 minutes · 02/03/2024

    When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.

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