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  1. Apologizing in NVC Language

    Apologizing in NVC Language

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Audio · 8 minutes · 7/28/2010

    In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

  2. Repair: Responding To A Lack Of Empathy

    Repair: Responding To A Lack Of Empathy

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/23/2022

    When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options you have in moving forward.

  3. Roxy Manning discusses the need to expand our understanding of observations within Nonviolent Communication (NVC). She challenges the idea of objective observation, noting its limitations, and introduces internal observations, citing personal experiences to illustrate their influence on emotions and self-perception. Additionally, she emphasizes systemic awareness as a crucial aspect of observation, highlighting its importance in understanding broader societal issues. Overall, Roxy advocates for a comprehensive approach to observations in NVC, incorporating external, internal, and systemic perspectives to foster inclusivity and empathy.

  4. Liberation For All

    Liberation For All

    How We Can Talk Differently About Power And Privilege

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 22 - 31 minutes · 1/11/2023

    Whether we have more or less power and privilege, anything without liberation for all is within patriarchal separation, and will continue cycles of oppression. To liberate ourselves and one another we need to increase our collective capacity through developing related knowledge, skills, research; build an understanding of patriarchal roots; confront lovingly; co-hold dilemmas about privilege; co-shape outcomes; etc.

  5. Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Boundaries and Exquisite Self-Care

    Yvette Erasmus

    Video · 6 minutes · 05/23/2023

    The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

  6. Reducing the Gap in Capacity Range

    Reducing the Gap in Capacity Range

    Miki Kashtan

    Video · 2:35 minutes · 2/8/2024

    Each of us has a range of capacities. Miki Kashtan describes this as a range from "floor to ceiling." Floor capacity is what happens when you hit your limitation, ceiling capacity is when you are closest to functioning in line with your values and vision. This video describes the need to work on both to prevent the gap from expanding.

  7. 3 Levels of Observation

    3 Levels of Observation

    Roxy Manning

    Video · 5 min 38 sec · 2/22/2024

    There is more to the NVC skill of Observation than the external level of what a video camera sees or hears. In this video, Roxy demonstrates that to fully understand what is happening, we need to know all three layers of observation: External, Internal, and Systemic. 

  8. FAQ

    Melissa .

    Author Support · ·

  9. Self-Management = More Joy at Work

    Self-Management = More Joy at Work

    Dian Killian

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 3/30/2019

    Want to manage more effectively with more ease and joy and get your staff to make changes? The first, crucial step is to learn how to change your behavior to impact what's happening. For example, we can get the inner clarity we need to reframe questions we ask ourselves, recap, make clear requests, give concrete feedback, etc. This article expands on how self-management can increase influence...

  10. The Power of Authenticity + Care

    The Power of Authenticity + Care

    Roxy Manning

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 5/11/2019

    When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things? Self-empathy, empathy, and a commitment to authenticity have become essential tools I need to keep sharpened in my toolbox if I am to show up and do the work I value in this world.

  11. Starting a Practice

    Starting a Practice

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Video · 40 minutes · 11/17/2022

    Create your own new personal practice using the Pathways to Liberation: Matrix of Self-Assessment and increase your capacity to access skills when you need them the most.

  12. The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    The Challenge Of Connecting Dots

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 1/20/2023

    The word "privilege" signifies the benefit to the person having it, and the relationship between that person’s benefit and others' lack of benefit. When privileged, there are incentives to not see this interdependent link. For instance, it's easier for the wealthy to think of the poverty of many and the wealth of some are unrelated. If the wealthy want to keep wealth they would need to continue with approaches rooted in this separation.

  13. An addiction to something (eg. opioids, fats, sugars, salts, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, etc.) or a compulsion (eg. gambling, shopping, working, sex or love addictions) is often an unconscious attempt to soothe trauma - fear, loneliness and shame that's frozen in unconscious memory. The addiction or compulsion is a substitute for what we really need. It is an endless craving that's never enough. Read on for more.

  14. Empathic Attuned Listening Practices

    Empathic Attuned Listening Practices

    Kathy Simon

    Video · 15 minutes · 09/30/2021

    Being heard is a core human need. But what if you don't like what the other person is saying: how do you hold onto your awareness of their humanity? Find out in this demonstration from Kathy Simon's course, Connect Across Differences.

  15. NVC Life Hacks 17

    NVC Life Hacks 17

    How to say I love you

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 5 minutes · 02/02/2022

    Falling in love is quite an experience, especially when it comes to that moment of saying 'I love you'. So what happens once you're in a relationship but still need to express the way you feel? Sometimes people feel like just saying 'I love you' is too impersonal or unspecific. So in this Life Hack, we give you some tips on how Nonviolent Communication can help set the mood with your loved ones.

  16. Untethering

    Untethering

    An Always-On Project

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 10 minutes · 9/18/2022

    Untethering from dominant culture and internalized oppression takes releasing attachments and persistence inspite upheavals -- all with insufficient support. Even in community building we can bring oppression into our efforts to untether. The more we walk towards vision, the more tethers of patriarchy we undo, the more the cost. By exacting such high cost, patriarchal societies reproduce and sustain themselves. To untether we need fortitude.

  17. Understanding Arguments Against NVC

    Understanding Arguments Against NVC

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 7/20/2022

    Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they think, feel, or need.

  18. The Paradox Of Why

    The Paradox Of Why

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 8/16/2022

    So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for our mutual benefit.

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