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This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).

Print-and-cut these 56 feelings cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes eight blank cards for you to customize.

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet particular needs.

Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility.

Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

When it comes to self-sabotage and self-limitation, what's happening when we make ourselves smaller than we are? And what is it with the crippling experience we suffer when we exceed our own self-imposed limitations? What unconscious needs is your nervous system meeting by remaining small? Read on for the insights of Beatrice Beebe's research on biological imperatives, emotional language, and emotional limitations.

True inner freedom arises from self-connection. Without self-connection, we're mostly acting from habits, and those habits do not necessarily attend to our own needs. Here's a practice you can explore in your daily life to deepen your relationship with yourself, and experience true choice and inner freedom.

Giving feedback across a differences in culture, race, and power isn't something that we have to do -- but we can choose to do it for our own liberation, if we want. And if we choose that path, impact delivered well can invite caring for all needs and increase capacity to learn. This is the exacting, rigorous work of speaking about impact without attributing anything to the person whose actions resulted in the impact. Read on for part 1 of 2.

When supporting someone with less privilege, first check with them how you can support.  If you're reacting more strongly to their undesirable experience than they are, this then shifts the dynamic so that they're setting aside what they want to attend to your feelings and needs - this may become work that they didn't sign up for.  Read on for what to do instead to support more equity.

In pandemic many are asked to stay home. If we are experiencing violence at home we're also most at risk of harm or death if we leave. There are also less visible pieces at work. In this situation, acknowledging our pain, needs and experience can lighten the internal load to meet what is real, and claim our truth. We can do the same for our kids. This can open more pathways forward, and provide strength to leave when its more viable.

What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.

With worthlessness comes the idea of not belonging or not being worthy of belonging. In this context, belonging is more than an identity with a particular group. It is the sort of belonging that enables you to get other fundamental needs met, including safety, support, nourishment, and love. Unconscious attempts win worthiness and belonging often effectively blocks the very thing its pursuing. Read on for more.

• Discern what is preventing your communication style from being effective
• Create a communication style that works
• Resolve everyday conflicts and misunderstandings
• Create a deeper sense of connection, trust, and cooperation
• Heal old wounds between you and others, as well as within yourself
• Be the leader and contributor you want to be in any situation

Listen to Miki Kashtan explain the importance of intention in developing our skill at creating solutions that work for everyone. Neither fighting nor giving up are qualities of nonviolence, but rather a fierce determination to hold the needs of all parties may arise.

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.

Trust, flow, information sharing, and learning is reduced in conflict. Conflict can indicate incapacity in at least one of five systems that every group, community, or organization needs to function. Attending to conflict at systems-level helps reduce over relying on momentary connection that isn’t anchored in decisions about what comes next. When there's enough agreed upon systems within capacity, that attend to enough kinds of situations, we're likely to have little conflict.

Praise may disconnect us from our own confidence, intrinsic motivation, or discernment. It may lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, codependency, a tendency to criticize others or fix others, and more. Instead, without evaluative words we can sincerely share what we specifically liked about what they did, and what needs were met for us.

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

Every interaction with children contains messages about who they are, who we are, and what life is like. By engaging attachment parenting and NVC we give them rare gifts in society: to know their parents well, to discover the effects of their actions without being blamed for them, and to experience the power of contributing to meeting others' needs, and the power to move towards mutually satisfying outcomes.