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  1. Using Anger to Serve Life

    Using Anger to Serve Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/29/2020

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

  2. What is Nonviolent Communication?

    What is Nonviolent Communication?

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/26/2020

    Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

  3. Giraffe Consciousness

    Giraffe Consciousness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/17/2020

    Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the giraffe as a metaphor for NVC consciousness? What can it help us understand about NVC consciousness? Read on for more.

  4. The Jackal as a Teacher

    The Jackal as a Teacher

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/26/2020

    Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.

  5. Enemy Images

    Enemy Images

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/23/2020

    Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

  6. Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

  7. Differentiating Needs from Strategies

    Differentiating Needs from Strategies

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/13/2020

    Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

  8. Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/31/2020

    Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.

  9. Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response isn't what you want. Read on for more.

  10. Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/21/2021

    Trainer Tip: Make a boring or "dead" conversation more interesting, meaningful and connecting. You can do this by connecting to the other person’s feelings, passions or desires. Read on for examples.

  11. Love Trumps Everything

    Love Trumps Everything

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/30/2021

    Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

  12. Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/26/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

  13. Timing of a request

    Timing of a request

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/14/2021

    Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.

    • Learn how to transform NVC into a tool for systemic awareness and healing
    • Examine the influence of difference, and uncover pathways that strengthen its capacity
    • Learn to receive and offer feedback on impact in situations fraught with power differences
    • Explore specific ways in which NVC systemically supports the full flowering of humanity
    • Delve into the dynamics of cultural differences, and discover how NVC can systemically contribute to a liberation perspective
  14. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  15. Commitment

    Commitment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/15/2021

    Do you ever give up on disagreements, temporarily or permanently? Do you ever disengage from conflict because you’re certain the situation can't be resolved? Sometimes this applies. And consider how you may be giving up too soon, which decreases the possibility for resolution. This speaks to your level of commitment. How committed are you to valuing another’s needs and to finding resolution?

  16. The Timing of Making A Request

    The Timing of Making A Request

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/12/2021

    It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.

  17. Directness

    Directness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/17/2021

    Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

  18. You’re Not Too Much

    You’re Not Too Much

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/11/2021

    Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.

  19. When Hearing A “No”

    When Hearing A “No”

    Demanding Versus Persisting

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/20/2021

    Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.

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